This weekend we are traveling north to spend some holiday time with my family in North Dakota. We leave tomorrow morning and will be heading back on Sunday late afternoon, so it's going to be a quick trip.
I still have some gifts to get and packing to do tonight - as we are having a Christmas/New Years Day celebration at my Grandma and Grandpa's house in Richardton, ND.
Tomorrow we are going to make a quick trip to Bismarck to visit my cousin Shawn. Shawn is in the hospital right now having a rough time. So let send lots of prayers and positive vibes his way and my Aunt's way as she has been at the hospital with him for over 2 weeks!!!! Bless her heart!
I am so ready for 2012! Lots of exciting happy events are going to occur - our January weekend trip to Deadwood with my Dad, our wedding, Raymond and I are going spend a week in Vegas for our honeymoon, my 10 year class reunion should be this summer, and we plan on a trip to Arkansas for Christmas. Plus the usual yearly happy stuff like Blake's 5th birthday and Joe's 3rd birthday. I can't believe how big they are getting :) and I love having over the top parties for them!
Happy New Year everyone!!!
Picture taken by the lovely Janel Johnson at Janel Johnson Photography
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Ahhh....What a Nice Weekend!
This weekend was filled with commotion, food, fun, great company, drinks, and presents.....lots of presents!
On Friday night Raymond and I went Christmas shopping - literally just started we had NOTHING done. It was fun......we got the boys their gifts and a few others. After all the shopping we had supper and went to a movie together. I was in desperate need for a date night, so it was perfect timing! Sometimes when you have kids you are so busy running around them you forget about how much fun it is to hang out with each other!
We celebrated the holidays at our house. I am glad to say my grinchy self was at bay and I really enjoyed our family time! I even put up the tree on the 24th and decorated the house a little. How could Santa possibly come to a house with no tree or stockings?
My Dad came down from my hometown of Mott to have Christmas with us. The rest was my family, my brothers, and my Mom. Small but fun.
On Saturday night we got Blake and once we got home we wasted no time. We baked Santa some cookies, because we wanted him to leave us a good present. The next morning the kids opened presents and boy did they get a lot of gifts! Spoiled, but they deserved it.
Raymond decided to start the floor project in the playroom and my Dad was there to supervise as he would say :) They did an excellent job! You are probably wondering why we would need to put a new floor down on a room we just remodeled? Well.... we have 3 stupid dogs that try to ruin my life. I know that sounds mean and if they were gone I would be sad, but I am a perfectionist, so having these dogs destroy all our efforts at a nice house makes me fuming MAD! I cannot understand why Raymond likes them so much because all they do is make me furious! We had a laminate floor and since Juicy our black lab is a brat she thinks it is okay to go "hide" somewhere and pee. She goes into rooms that I am not frequently in because she knows I won't see her and thinks I will never find it. This is true to some degree.......well no matter how much I cleaned that floor it just felt disgusting. Like pee soaked to the bottom of it or something. I didn't want the kids to play in there which defeats the whole purpose of a playroom. Raymond agreed it was disgusting, so now we have slate tile and nothing will get underneath that!!! In a way it was a blessing because the slate looks nicer I think! Gotta love $1300 floors wasted! Damn dogs!
Sunday while the boys worked on the floor I slaved away in the kitchen cooking the meal. I enjoyed some wine well I cooked, which also makes me feel like I am a better cook ;)
It was a great weekend that went by very fast! Hope everyone has a wonderful 2012 - it's just around the corner!
On Friday night Raymond and I went Christmas shopping - literally just started we had NOTHING done. It was fun......we got the boys their gifts and a few others. After all the shopping we had supper and went to a movie together. I was in desperate need for a date night, so it was perfect timing! Sometimes when you have kids you are so busy running around them you forget about how much fun it is to hang out with each other!
We celebrated the holidays at our house. I am glad to say my grinchy self was at bay and I really enjoyed our family time! I even put up the tree on the 24th and decorated the house a little. How could Santa possibly come to a house with no tree or stockings?
My Dad came down from my hometown of Mott to have Christmas with us. The rest was my family, my brothers, and my Mom. Small but fun.
On Saturday night we got Blake and once we got home we wasted no time. We baked Santa some cookies, because we wanted him to leave us a good present. The next morning the kids opened presents and boy did they get a lot of gifts! Spoiled, but they deserved it.
Raymond decided to start the floor project in the playroom and my Dad was there to supervise as he would say :) They did an excellent job! You are probably wondering why we would need to put a new floor down on a room we just remodeled? Well.... we have 3 stupid dogs that try to ruin my life. I know that sounds mean and if they were gone I would be sad, but I am a perfectionist, so having these dogs destroy all our efforts at a nice house makes me fuming MAD! I cannot understand why Raymond likes them so much because all they do is make me furious! We had a laminate floor and since Juicy our black lab is a brat she thinks it is okay to go "hide" somewhere and pee. She goes into rooms that I am not frequently in because she knows I won't see her and thinks I will never find it. This is true to some degree.......well no matter how much I cleaned that floor it just felt disgusting. Like pee soaked to the bottom of it or something. I didn't want the kids to play in there which defeats the whole purpose of a playroom. Raymond agreed it was disgusting, so now we have slate tile and nothing will get underneath that!!! In a way it was a blessing because the slate looks nicer I think! Gotta love $1300 floors wasted! Damn dogs!
Sunday while the boys worked on the floor I slaved away in the kitchen cooking the meal. I enjoyed some wine well I cooked, which also makes me feel like I am a better cook ;)
It was a great weekend that went by very fast! Hope everyone has a wonderful 2012 - it's just around the corner!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Grinch
I debated on doing a post about this, but since it's my blog and I can do what I want I decided I would.
So I am just going to say it. I can't stand Christmas. I know..... how terrible and you are thinking, "I can't believe she is publicly announcing it. Keep it to yourself lady." It's true though.... I hate it. I try to be a very positive happy upbeat lady, but sometimes I just don't really feel like it.
Why I can't stand Christmas you might ask?
Well Christmas has so much character. It is such a symbolic month compared to the others. There are so many things, smells, songs, etc. that are well........ Christmas. I can't think of any other month quite like it.
Do you ever smell something or see something or hear something that REMINDS you of something? Of course you do. I can think of a lot of things that remind me of a time in my life happy or unhappy. With that being said........everything Christmas reminds me of Ella. In fact, October 28th (when Robert passed) to January 1st is kind of a depressing time for me. Because who can be sad about New Year's when everyone gets to start over? The first Christmas in 2009 when the kids were still in the NICU Ella was very sick and of course the year after that Ella became a Princess Angel.
So the music, the smells, the food, the decorations, the presents, the TV shows, the lights it all reminds me of a very sad time. A very sad one. Sometimes to the point that it feels like all those awful things are happening again right now. It is so ugly to feel depressed and just wish something away so you can be happy and not think about it in depth anymore. It's almost like an unwanted visitor coming to see me and torture me......"Oh great Christmas is here again put on your happy face and be normal." I have to for the kids - I don't want to ruin it for them. I do not want them to be adults and say, "Christmas wasn't a fun time at our house because our Mom was such a downer about it. Our Mom crushed our Christmas spirit just because she was miserable!" How selfish would that make me? I didn't even put my tree up this year, decorate my house, or decorate my office!
This is still fresh and new. I think in time my attitude will change. I really think it will, but for now I am Jenn the Grinch and that is just the way it is going to be this year and maybe a few more to come. Until I decide to quit feeling sorry for myself and being selfish.
Merry Christmas Everyone! (That's a good start right?)
So I am just going to say it. I can't stand Christmas. I know..... how terrible and you are thinking, "I can't believe she is publicly announcing it. Keep it to yourself lady." It's true though.... I hate it. I try to be a very positive happy upbeat lady, but sometimes I just don't really feel like it.
Why I can't stand Christmas you might ask?
Well Christmas has so much character. It is such a symbolic month compared to the others. There are so many things, smells, songs, etc. that are well........ Christmas. I can't think of any other month quite like it.
Do you ever smell something or see something or hear something that REMINDS you of something? Of course you do. I can think of a lot of things that remind me of a time in my life happy or unhappy. With that being said........everything Christmas reminds me of Ella. In fact, October 28th (when Robert passed) to January 1st is kind of a depressing time for me. Because who can be sad about New Year's when everyone gets to start over? The first Christmas in 2009 when the kids were still in the NICU Ella was very sick and of course the year after that Ella became a Princess Angel.
So the music, the smells, the food, the decorations, the presents, the TV shows, the lights it all reminds me of a very sad time. A very sad one. Sometimes to the point that it feels like all those awful things are happening again right now. It is so ugly to feel depressed and just wish something away so you can be happy and not think about it in depth anymore. It's almost like an unwanted visitor coming to see me and torture me......"Oh great Christmas is here again put on your happy face and be normal." I have to for the kids - I don't want to ruin it for them. I do not want them to be adults and say, "Christmas wasn't a fun time at our house because our Mom was such a downer about it. Our Mom crushed our Christmas spirit just because she was miserable!" How selfish would that make me? I didn't even put my tree up this year, decorate my house, or decorate my office!
This is still fresh and new. I think in time my attitude will change. I really think it will, but for now I am Jenn the Grinch and that is just the way it is going to be this year and maybe a few more to come. Until I decide to quit feeling sorry for myself and being selfish.
Merry Christmas Everyone! (That's a good start right?)
Monday, December 19, 2011
What Has Blake Been Up Too........?
I can't believe how big Blake is getting and how much he has changed since last year! I was thinking about 2012 coming up and comparing him to early 2011. What a big boy!
1. Blake started preschool this year. It is just darling let me tell you! He tells me about school and his teacher Ms. Kiefert (sp?) who I can tell he likes tremendously! Blake likes to sing songs to Joe that he has learned at preschool and occasionally will put on a little concert in the living room. He stands on the ottoman and sings his heart out! When he is really feeling it he plays air guitar. Joe is his biggest fan and has attended every live performance Blake has put on :) I have also noticed since he started preschool that he really knows his colors, numbers, and is getting good with letters. He also does a lot more than just scribbling when he colors/draws. I love looking at his art work! Just over a week ago my brother Michael and I went to his xmas program. They created snowmen costumes out of construction paper, yarn, fabric for their scarves, and paper plates. It was super cute. Listening to him sing was great too - he did a fantastic job. I was so proud!
2. Blake is getting very tall! We started doing measurements on the trim in the entrance way between the living room and kitchen. I got a black sharpie and have him stand straight up against it and we draw a line for his height, write his name next to the line, and put the date by it. (Joe is also being measured :) I told Blake we will check their height every 6-7 months. The next measurement is going to be the first week of April 2012 sometime. He tells me he needs to drink a lot of juice and milk so he is very tall next time! Once he gets tall enough Daddy is going to buy him a big boy gun. That frightens me but okay.....
3. Blake loves animals. We have 3 dogs now - Syd, Juicy, and Oakley is the newbie - Blake plays with them constantly. Especially Oakley! They have a blast (or I feel sorry for the dogs) and I feel like I am a nag because it's a constant, "you guys need to settle down!" coming from me. It is to loud and crazy for the house, but it's a delight to watch them play together. Joe thinks it's a hoot too! Blake also has a split personality - he is either his sweet wonderful Blake self or he is Brutus the friendly puppy doggie self. He will crawl in bed with us panting and barking. I use to say, "Are you a puppy Blake?" and he would say, "No JuJu I am Brutus the puppy doggie!" So then I would have to pet his ears and scratch his head. Now I just know when his second personality Brutus comes and go with it. ***Blake doesn't really suffer from split personality I am just being silly*** Sometimes folks take things out of context....... Haha!
4. Blake loves popsicles, noodles, buns, bread sticks, juice, popcorn, ice-cream, and pancakes. Literally, those are the only things I can get the boy to eat. In fact, he would only eat popsicles all day if Raymond and I would allow it. To be honest I hate to be the bad guy - so when he has had enough popsicles I make Raymond tell him "no" when he asks for another one. I know.... I am quite clever like that. Raymond can't figure out why he answers the who is your favorite question as "JuJu's my favorite!" Tricky tricky I am....too bad Raymond can't be so clever.... :) He decided this year he hates tomato sauces of any nature. So no spaghetti, spaghettio's, lasagna, and he is picky with pizza. It's funny how kids just have a sudden change of heart on food like that! Someone should teach me this trick!
5. Blake is very wonderful with Joe. He loves to make him laugh and knows just how to do it too. He plays peek-a-boo with him and acts like a crazy monster. Sometimes they get a little too crazy and have to settle them down with the monster thing, but it is still cute! Joe has been pretty whinny lately - the terrible 2's - and when he whines Blake will say, "JuJu Joe Joe needs to take a nap now." or "JuJu Joe Joe told me he wants to take a nap and that is why he is crying." The second one is my personal favorite. He will also sit there with his hands over his ears shaking his head like he can't believe how terrible Joe is being...haha! They do play together well and Blake likes to push Joe in his stroller or around the house in his walker toy. I love the looks on Joe's face when he is listening or watching Blake. I think Blake is a comfort to him and he knows that's his big brother. They look a lot alike too.........you can certainly tell they are brothers.
6. My favorite quality of Blake is he is so sweet natured and honest. He is never mean to people and he is kind without trying, almost like it isn't an effort at all. I love his personality, how he is so eager to tell me stories and he is full of imagination and adventure. He always admits to breaking something or losing something and apologizes for it right away. You can't even get mad at him because he handles it almost perfectly! I think the world would be a better place if more people were like Blake Brunson!
Love you Blakers.......
Snowman at his Xmas concert :)
Daddy and Blake fishing in Arkansas 2011
Goofing off - Jenn, Blake, and Joe - July 2011
Can you find Blake???
Do you love DJ Lance in the background?
1. Blake started preschool this year. It is just darling let me tell you! He tells me about school and his teacher Ms. Kiefert (sp?) who I can tell he likes tremendously! Blake likes to sing songs to Joe that he has learned at preschool and occasionally will put on a little concert in the living room. He stands on the ottoman and sings his heart out! When he is really feeling it he plays air guitar. Joe is his biggest fan and has attended every live performance Blake has put on :) I have also noticed since he started preschool that he really knows his colors, numbers, and is getting good with letters. He also does a lot more than just scribbling when he colors/draws. I love looking at his art work! Just over a week ago my brother Michael and I went to his xmas program. They created snowmen costumes out of construction paper, yarn, fabric for their scarves, and paper plates. It was super cute. Listening to him sing was great too - he did a fantastic job. I was so proud!
2. Blake is getting very tall! We started doing measurements on the trim in the entrance way between the living room and kitchen. I got a black sharpie and have him stand straight up against it and we draw a line for his height, write his name next to the line, and put the date by it. (Joe is also being measured :) I told Blake we will check their height every 6-7 months. The next measurement is going to be the first week of April 2012 sometime. He tells me he needs to drink a lot of juice and milk so he is very tall next time! Once he gets tall enough Daddy is going to buy him a big boy gun. That frightens me but okay.....
3. Blake loves animals. We have 3 dogs now - Syd, Juicy, and Oakley is the newbie - Blake plays with them constantly. Especially Oakley! They have a blast (or I feel sorry for the dogs) and I feel like I am a nag because it's a constant, "you guys need to settle down!" coming from me. It is to loud and crazy for the house, but it's a delight to watch them play together. Joe thinks it's a hoot too! Blake also has a split personality - he is either his sweet wonderful Blake self or he is Brutus the friendly puppy doggie self. He will crawl in bed with us panting and barking. I use to say, "Are you a puppy Blake?" and he would say, "No JuJu I am Brutus the puppy doggie!" So then I would have to pet his ears and scratch his head. Now I just know when his second personality Brutus comes and go with it. ***Blake doesn't really suffer from split personality I am just being silly*** Sometimes folks take things out of context....... Haha!
4. Blake loves popsicles, noodles, buns, bread sticks, juice, popcorn, ice-cream, and pancakes. Literally, those are the only things I can get the boy to eat. In fact, he would only eat popsicles all day if Raymond and I would allow it. To be honest I hate to be the bad guy - so when he has had enough popsicles I make Raymond tell him "no" when he asks for another one. I know.... I am quite clever like that. Raymond can't figure out why he answers the who is your favorite question as "JuJu's my favorite!" Tricky tricky I am....too bad Raymond can't be so clever.... :) He decided this year he hates tomato sauces of any nature. So no spaghetti, spaghettio's, lasagna, and he is picky with pizza. It's funny how kids just have a sudden change of heart on food like that! Someone should teach me this trick!
5. Blake is very wonderful with Joe. He loves to make him laugh and knows just how to do it too. He plays peek-a-boo with him and acts like a crazy monster. Sometimes they get a little too crazy and have to settle them down with the monster thing, but it is still cute! Joe has been pretty whinny lately - the terrible 2's - and when he whines Blake will say, "JuJu Joe Joe needs to take a nap now." or "JuJu Joe Joe told me he wants to take a nap and that is why he is crying." The second one is my personal favorite. He will also sit there with his hands over his ears shaking his head like he can't believe how terrible Joe is being...haha! They do play together well and Blake likes to push Joe in his stroller or around the house in his walker toy. I love the looks on Joe's face when he is listening or watching Blake. I think Blake is a comfort to him and he knows that's his big brother. They look a lot alike too.........you can certainly tell they are brothers.
6. My favorite quality of Blake is he is so sweet natured and honest. He is never mean to people and he is kind without trying, almost like it isn't an effort at all. I love his personality, how he is so eager to tell me stories and he is full of imagination and adventure. He always admits to breaking something or losing something and apologizes for it right away. You can't even get mad at him because he handles it almost perfectly! I think the world would be a better place if more people were like Blake Brunson!
Love you Blakers.......
Blake and Daddy at their 2011 annual Hippo fountain picture
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
12-14-11 Year One
So today..............
Today is the one year anniversary of Ella's passing. It's a heart wrenching day really. I am trying to be positive instead of laying in bed all day crying. It was tempting though. I even had a plan for today. I was going to call in sick at work, lay in my bed with my special Ella box and my laptop, and I was going to cry. I was going to look through all her lovely things..... all my keepsakes.....all my memories the good and the bad.....check if I can still smell her on her blankets.....admire her beautiful dresses....look at the millions of pictures...... play with her toys......listen to her music.......watch videos of her of us. Yeah........ that was the game plan. Yesterday I decided I couldn't do it. I won't..........it's hard not too, but I need to celebrate her first year in heaven not cry about it. Celebrate that she is no longer in pain, that she can breathe, she can eat, she can move, she isn't hooked up to machines, she doesn't have tubes and needles in her, and most importantly she isn't suffering anymore.
I go back - back to that day and the moments surrounding it. She was suffering and it just felt horrible and I felt helpless. I wanted to trade places with her and I couldn't. I have spent several moments this past year feeling very confident that the best thing was done for Ella - the best I knew to give her. I have also spent moments scared, scared I did the wrong thing for her. Scared that wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't tell me. Every decision I made during her 14 months was the best I knew to make. Everything I did was in good intentions for everyone involved. I always thought of my needs and wants last..........ALWAYS. Despite what I have heard or been told by others (which I have also learned that people are assholes). I spent this first year reflecting a lot about everything that happened. I always feel comforted by knowing I was really always trying to do the right things. But really what is the right things when you are in that situation? I wish there would of been a book of answers for me.
I have never told anyone this, but shortly before she passed I was holding Ella and she was very sick. I told her, "Ella, if you want or can't do this anymore Mommy understands and still loves you and will always love you forever." Right after I said that.........she stopped breathing and coded. Of course they took her from my arms and revived her - like I seen happen a million times, but that time it felt different and after that I knew.......I knew she wasn't going to live. I felt like she was telling me something - like she heard me. It was different than the 100's of times I called Raymond hysterically bawling telling him this is it and that she was really going to die this time. I wasn't hysterical and desperate for a miracle. I was so sad I was almost calm - I knew what was happening. I knew it was going to be the most devastating thing that would ever happen to me and I knew it was out of everyones hands and in God's now. There was only one thing Raymond and I could do for her. Something we never wanted it to come too.
I would give anything to rock her one more night in our rocking chair. Just her and I while she sleeps on my chest. Ella smelt like vanilla oatmeal baby soap and clean laundry :) When she would sleep I would look down at her shut eyes and admire her mile long eyelashes. She was a beautiful little girl even though she was so sick and never felt very good. Ella was still so pretty.
Raymond and I decided it was time for Ella to start living - and sadly that couldn't be with us any more. Ella wasn't living here though she was just existing.
I believe now she is living. That is all I ever wanted for her. So lets celebrate that!
Today is the one year anniversary of Ella's passing. It's a heart wrenching day really. I am trying to be positive instead of laying in bed all day crying. It was tempting though. I even had a plan for today. I was going to call in sick at work, lay in my bed with my special Ella box and my laptop, and I was going to cry. I was going to look through all her lovely things..... all my keepsakes.....all my memories the good and the bad.....check if I can still smell her on her blankets.....admire her beautiful dresses....look at the millions of pictures...... play with her toys......listen to her music.......watch videos of her of us. Yeah........ that was the game plan. Yesterday I decided I couldn't do it. I won't..........it's hard not too, but I need to celebrate her first year in heaven not cry about it. Celebrate that she is no longer in pain, that she can breathe, she can eat, she can move, she isn't hooked up to machines, she doesn't have tubes and needles in her, and most importantly she isn't suffering anymore.
I go back - back to that day and the moments surrounding it. She was suffering and it just felt horrible and I felt helpless. I wanted to trade places with her and I couldn't. I have spent several moments this past year feeling very confident that the best thing was done for Ella - the best I knew to give her. I have also spent moments scared, scared I did the wrong thing for her. Scared that wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't tell me. Every decision I made during her 14 months was the best I knew to make. Everything I did was in good intentions for everyone involved. I always thought of my needs and wants last..........ALWAYS. Despite what I have heard or been told by others (which I have also learned that people are assholes). I spent this first year reflecting a lot about everything that happened. I always feel comforted by knowing I was really always trying to do the right things. But really what is the right things when you are in that situation? I wish there would of been a book of answers for me.
I have never told anyone this, but shortly before she passed I was holding Ella and she was very sick. I told her, "Ella, if you want or can't do this anymore Mommy understands and still loves you and will always love you forever." Right after I said that.........she stopped breathing and coded. Of course they took her from my arms and revived her - like I seen happen a million times, but that time it felt different and after that I knew.......I knew she wasn't going to live. I felt like she was telling me something - like she heard me. It was different than the 100's of times I called Raymond hysterically bawling telling him this is it and that she was really going to die this time. I wasn't hysterical and desperate for a miracle. I was so sad I was almost calm - I knew what was happening. I knew it was going to be the most devastating thing that would ever happen to me and I knew it was out of everyones hands and in God's now. There was only one thing Raymond and I could do for her. Something we never wanted it to come too.
I would give anything to rock her one more night in our rocking chair. Just her and I while she sleeps on my chest. Ella smelt like vanilla oatmeal baby soap and clean laundry :) When she would sleep I would look down at her shut eyes and admire her mile long eyelashes. She was a beautiful little girl even though she was so sick and never felt very good. Ella was still so pretty.
Raymond and I decided it was time for Ella to start living - and sadly that couldn't be with us any more. Ella wasn't living here though she was just existing.
I believe now she is living. That is all I ever wanted for her. So lets celebrate that!
What's Joe Been Up Too???
Little Joe is growing up like a weed! What has he been doing lately? LOTS - I am amazed at how much he has grown and continues to change.
1. Joe can totally get around commando crawling now. This is also known as "belly crawling". He goes everywhere. Constantly. All the time. I use to not watch him too carefully (that makes me sound like an irresponsible Mom I know, but honestly is a virtue) because he just stayed in the living room in his "area" with his toys. He played away not really going out on any adventures. Now he is in the bathroom, my bedroom, his bedroom, the kitchen, closets, you name it he goes there. He loves to open and close doors. Not by turning the knob of course he cannot reach it, but he swings the corner of the door shut and opens it if he doesn't accidentally shut it all the way. Sometimes he goes into a room and then accidentally shuts the door completely and I can't find him for a moment. Eeeeeekkkkk!!!! Scares me to death.
2. Joe can get up on all fours. He gets up on all fours and "rocks it"........literally he rocks himself ...back and fourth - back and fourth - back and fourth. It is so cute to watch him do this. Concentrating and trying to rock faster and faster until he is too tired and needs a break. He looks like he is training for his event in the Olympics or something. Some mornings when I hear he is awake - I go to his room to get him up for the day and there he is in his footy jammies rocking his little heart out :)
3. Joe likes to stand! He can stand up against something, so we like to use the ottoman. We put some toys up there and he stands to play with them. Then we work on some side walking all with the lovely Kim, his physical therapist. He does well with it - really well - like it shocked me to be honest with you. It really made me feel like Joe will walk someday, which was always a fear of mine. No one wants to think about their child not being able to walk, but it's a realistic thought in my life sadly. Regardless, Joe is awesome - walking or not. He will be the most popular kid in school probably. Everyone wants to be Joe's friend :)
4. Joe is getting better at sitting. He can't sit the best on his own, but it's 100x's better than it was early summer. He can sit for about 5 minutes at a time. It looks awkward too. He never puts himself into a sitting position either, if I do it - or one of his lovely therapy ladies - he will sit well. He actually tries to get himself into a standing against furniture position more often than trying to sit up on his own. He must be an overachiever - sitting? what?.....heck lets stand up instead!
5. Joe started a new medication. It is called baclaphen. This is a muscle relaxer. He is super tight on his right side (especially that right hand), trunk muscles, and his feet. This will help loosen him up so he can start doing the physical things he wants to do. I noticed a difference almost immediately. That was when he started to crawl everywhere and he actually uses his right arm now. He uses it to hold himself up when he is sitting and "rocking it". He also moves it forward when he crawls. His right arm use to get stuck behind him and that is why he wouldn't crawl. It was like a light bulb went off in his head when he started the baclaphen - like suddenly he could feel his body better and make it move. It's a magic potion :)
6. Joe has a lot of his teeth now. He only has like 5 more to go I think and that includes his 2 year old molars. He has the best smile ever :)
7. Joe loves loves and I mean he really loves sweets. He has such a sweet tooth. Ice cream, bars, cookies, donuts, fudge, you name it! He doesn't have any texture issues if it's covered in sugar or frosting. Joe doesn't really like "dry" foods like crackers and bread. I think the texture bugs him and he is afraid of choking, but....if it's a dessert of some kind he will eat it in 1.25 seconds flat! He also loves potatoes, rice, hamburger, and noodles. He is doing a fantastic job feeding himself. He doesn't use an eating utensil, but can eat almost anything with his left hand. He is also drinking out of a sippy all by himself. He uses the sippy cups with handles because he has to do it with his left hand which isn't big enough to wrap around a cup. Very independent little fella - does not want mom to feed him (unless it's ice-cream or pudding).
8. Joe isn't doing much talking. He knows I am his Mumma and he can say Dada. I think he recently realized Raymond is "Dada". Sometimes I hear a "yeah" out of him or a "deedee" "beebee".....I have no idea about those 2 but it's cute because he smiles when he says it. He likes to smack his lips, click his tongue, and give kisses too. When I speak to Joe he mimics my lip movements but sound does not come out of his mouth. Raymond and I were concerned about this, knowing he should be talking by now. Joe recently had an appointment with the pediatric neurologist - Dr. Sanchez - who is such a lovely man I really really like him. I think he is so wonderful with kids and a great Dr! At the appointment, Dr. Sanchez explained to me that the larger bleed Joe had, the grade IV, actually damaged the speech area of the brain. Not solely the speech area, but the majority of the bleed occurred in there. So that would explain his aphasia or lack of communicating or speaking. There are 2 common areas of the speech part of the brain (I hope I am going to explain right - I have been out of the medical terminology loop for awhile now). There is the Broca Area and Wernicke's Area. From what I understood from his speech therapist is that Broca is a receptor, understanding the communication and processing it. So... we ask you to something and you interpret the language and respond appropriately to it. The Wernicke's is actually executing what you want to say and do after you have interpreted it. Does that make sense? I hope I am not giving false info and I should google maybe.....haha! Again any medical friends feel free to correct me so I don't look like an idiot! I could of got them backwards! It seems Joe can interpret what we are saying and not execute his response. So basically, he can't say what he wants to say because that part of his brain was damaged which hindered the learning process of speech and speaking for him. He has to learn speech by training different areas in the brain to learn communication and speaking. A child's brain isn't wired yet - he can rewire his brain using a different route to learn to speech instead of the typical route already given to us at birth. I must be honest this bothered me.......it made me sad.......I thought about it a lot. What if my son can never tell me what he is thinking? What if I can never hear his voice.....? What if I never know what he is thinking because he can't tell me and gives up on it? I want to talk to my son - I want to be able to hear what he has to say. The lovely Amanda (Joe's speech therapist) told me that she doesn't feel like Joe will not talk, in fact she is confident he will. He will just have to work harder at it then everyone else, so that helped get me off my pity train :) Plus I shouldn't feel sorry for myself about that kind of stuff - I should be grateful he is here, but I think I deserve too sometimes :)
Wikipedia is the smartest!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke's_area
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broca's_area
Merry Chirstmas!
****Sorry about the long post****
1. Joe can totally get around commando crawling now. This is also known as "belly crawling". He goes everywhere. Constantly. All the time. I use to not watch him too carefully (that makes me sound like an irresponsible Mom I know, but honestly is a virtue) because he just stayed in the living room in his "area" with his toys. He played away not really going out on any adventures. Now he is in the bathroom, my bedroom, his bedroom, the kitchen, closets, you name it he goes there. He loves to open and close doors. Not by turning the knob of course he cannot reach it, but he swings the corner of the door shut and opens it if he doesn't accidentally shut it all the way. Sometimes he goes into a room and then accidentally shuts the door completely and I can't find him for a moment. Eeeeeekkkkk!!!! Scares me to death.
2. Joe can get up on all fours. He gets up on all fours and "rocks it"........literally he rocks himself ...back and fourth - back and fourth - back and fourth. It is so cute to watch him do this. Concentrating and trying to rock faster and faster until he is too tired and needs a break. He looks like he is training for his event in the Olympics or something. Some mornings when I hear he is awake - I go to his room to get him up for the day and there he is in his footy jammies rocking his little heart out :)
3. Joe likes to stand! He can stand up against something, so we like to use the ottoman. We put some toys up there and he stands to play with them. Then we work on some side walking all with the lovely Kim, his physical therapist. He does well with it - really well - like it shocked me to be honest with you. It really made me feel like Joe will walk someday, which was always a fear of mine. No one wants to think about their child not being able to walk, but it's a realistic thought in my life sadly. Regardless, Joe is awesome - walking or not. He will be the most popular kid in school probably. Everyone wants to be Joe's friend :)
4. Joe is getting better at sitting. He can't sit the best on his own, but it's 100x's better than it was early summer. He can sit for about 5 minutes at a time. It looks awkward too. He never puts himself into a sitting position either, if I do it - or one of his lovely therapy ladies - he will sit well. He actually tries to get himself into a standing against furniture position more often than trying to sit up on his own. He must be an overachiever - sitting? what?.....heck lets stand up instead!
5. Joe started a new medication. It is called baclaphen. This is a muscle relaxer. He is super tight on his right side (especially that right hand), trunk muscles, and his feet. This will help loosen him up so he can start doing the physical things he wants to do. I noticed a difference almost immediately. That was when he started to crawl everywhere and he actually uses his right arm now. He uses it to hold himself up when he is sitting and "rocking it". He also moves it forward when he crawls. His right arm use to get stuck behind him and that is why he wouldn't crawl. It was like a light bulb went off in his head when he started the baclaphen - like suddenly he could feel his body better and make it move. It's a magic potion :)
6. Joe has a lot of his teeth now. He only has like 5 more to go I think and that includes his 2 year old molars. He has the best smile ever :)
7. Joe loves loves and I mean he really loves sweets. He has such a sweet tooth. Ice cream, bars, cookies, donuts, fudge, you name it! He doesn't have any texture issues if it's covered in sugar or frosting. Joe doesn't really like "dry" foods like crackers and bread. I think the texture bugs him and he is afraid of choking, but....if it's a dessert of some kind he will eat it in 1.25 seconds flat! He also loves potatoes, rice, hamburger, and noodles. He is doing a fantastic job feeding himself. He doesn't use an eating utensil, but can eat almost anything with his left hand. He is also drinking out of a sippy all by himself. He uses the sippy cups with handles because he has to do it with his left hand which isn't big enough to wrap around a cup. Very independent little fella - does not want mom to feed him (unless it's ice-cream or pudding).
8. Joe isn't doing much talking. He knows I am his Mumma and he can say Dada. I think he recently realized Raymond is "Dada". Sometimes I hear a "yeah" out of him or a "deedee" "beebee".....I have no idea about those 2 but it's cute because he smiles when he says it. He likes to smack his lips, click his tongue, and give kisses too. When I speak to Joe he mimics my lip movements but sound does not come out of his mouth. Raymond and I were concerned about this, knowing he should be talking by now. Joe recently had an appointment with the pediatric neurologist - Dr. Sanchez - who is such a lovely man I really really like him. I think he is so wonderful with kids and a great Dr! At the appointment, Dr. Sanchez explained to me that the larger bleed Joe had, the grade IV, actually damaged the speech area of the brain. Not solely the speech area, but the majority of the bleed occurred in there. So that would explain his aphasia or lack of communicating or speaking. There are 2 common areas of the speech part of the brain (I hope I am going to explain right - I have been out of the medical terminology loop for awhile now). There is the Broca Area and Wernicke's Area. From what I understood from his speech therapist is that Broca is a receptor, understanding the communication and processing it. So... we ask you to something and you interpret the language and respond appropriately to it. The Wernicke's is actually executing what you want to say and do after you have interpreted it. Does that make sense? I hope I am not giving false info and I should google maybe.....haha! Again any medical friends feel free to correct me so I don't look like an idiot! I could of got them backwards! It seems Joe can interpret what we are saying and not execute his response. So basically, he can't say what he wants to say because that part of his brain was damaged which hindered the learning process of speech and speaking for him. He has to learn speech by training different areas in the brain to learn communication and speaking. A child's brain isn't wired yet - he can rewire his brain using a different route to learn to speech instead of the typical route already given to us at birth. I must be honest this bothered me.......it made me sad.......I thought about it a lot. What if my son can never tell me what he is thinking? What if I can never hear his voice.....? What if I never know what he is thinking because he can't tell me and gives up on it? I want to talk to my son - I want to be able to hear what he has to say. The lovely Amanda (Joe's speech therapist) told me that she doesn't feel like Joe will not talk, in fact she is confident he will. He will just have to work harder at it then everyone else, so that helped get me off my pity train :) Plus I shouldn't feel sorry for myself about that kind of stuff - I should be grateful he is here, but I think I deserve too sometimes :)
Wikipedia is the smartest!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke's_area
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broca's_area
****Sorry about the long post****
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