Miss Whitley - Part 2

So it was time..........it was 4/5/13 and Raymond and I were off to the hospital at 7am. We dropped Joe off at our Kathy's and it hit me this is the last time I will only have one child to drop off at daycare! We got to the hospital and the weather was so nice. It was kind of a crisp morning, no wind, and spring was in the air. We were walking into the building and I caught a glimspe of my walking full body profile in the glass window. Sweet Jesus I was huge and waddling! I couldn't wait to get Whitley out and see her and be able to take a big deep breath again! We checked in and went back to the get ready for the procedure. I put one of those hot gowns on and my husband was drooling all over me.........just kidding he was actually drooling all over the sandwich and snack my nurse got him. She wanted to make sure he wasn't hungry and had a full tummy before all the events. Seriously......? Who cares about him! Plus I wasn't allowed to eat breakfast so I had to lay there (uncomfortably) and watch him eat! Then he had the nerve to whin about the hospital ham sandwich. The nurse was quite concerned with Raymond comfort level I noticed - it was like, "hey lady - over here, fat chic about to give birth......" Ha! My Dr. came in to check on me and make sure I was ready. It was a waiting game after that. I had to wait for a mom that was having twins to get out of the OR, but I was in there at 10am like planned. I waddled on down to the OR with a different nurse. It was creepy walking in there........it was cold and everyone was standing there staring at me gowned, masked, and gloved. I had to go over to the middle of the room where a table was with a light beaming down just like in the movies. Then I had to get up on it practically NAKED well everyone in the room watched! And of course the nurse anesthetist was a very attractive young man and so was the anestheiologist......awesome....... They numbed me up and got me all ready. I was laying there and a lady approached me and apparently knew who I was. She was so friendly and excited about the baby. Honestly, it took me a minute to register who I was talking too ( I was flying a bit high at the moment ) and it was Joe's former Ped Dr.'s FNP, Deb. She was going to check Whitley when she came out. It was so reassuring and wonderful to see her! When Joe turned 2 they passed him off to a regular Ped Dr. as they specialized in neonates (babies). That was a sad day for me because I loved Dr. Benn, Deb (his FNP), and his nurse. We love our new Ped Dr. though too! I asked her if Dr. Benn was there and told her to tell him to pop in and say "hi". I also sort of jokingly told her that I did NOT want to see him in the NICU! Naturally she understood that! In came my husband who looked extremely nervous and out of sorts. He took a seat behind my head - like an awkwardly long distance from me and looked scared to death. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him and it kind of hurt my feelings he was sitting so far away. Then he mentioned being very terrified of seeing my inners. It's like "Raymond they aren't going to take my guts out and set them on the table for God's sake!" He was truly afraid that he might see something and it will cause him to faint! The procedure went fast and I tell you what my nurse anesthetist was awesome. He told me exactly what was happening the whole time and kept asking me if I was feeling okay. Then he made small talk with Raymond to ease his nerves. All I remember is his name was John.......John where ever you are you should know how fantastic at your job you are! For the most part I did well. Except I was scratching my face off and felt like vomiting the whole time, but when you are flying high that really doesn't bother you too much. I have never itched like that in my life. I was practically scratching my face off - like seriously! It was so weird. I guess I had a reacation to the anesthesia. They gave me medicine to help the nausea. It worked for the time being. Then it happened, I heard my Dr. say, "Jenn she has soooo much hair oh my goodness! What a chunk!" and then......a baby crying. That crying was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life. It nearly brought me to tears. Whitley was breathing. It was so amazing. A baby that can breathe - I refused to take that very moment for granted. The look of worry was gone from Raymond's face and a look I have never seen him have before was there. He looked so happy, proud, and in love. The pictures we have even captured that moment of him so well. It was so happy and so exciting. My Dr. held her up over the protective screen so I could catch a glimpse of her before they cut the cord. I will never forget that glimpse. A had that beautiful healthy baby I prayed and begged God for. I was so grateful! They took her over the heated table and Raymond went over there to be with her. I didn't know this at the time because Raymond told me later, but she was needing quite a bit of help with oxygen. I remember wondering why it was so quiet and why it was taking awhile for them to bring her over to me, but brushed it off that time was moving slow because I was so excited. I remember them saying something kind of casual to me like, "She is just needing a little help with her O2 but she is doing great Jenn." Which I think she was, but Deb the FNP went the extra mile to stay with her and watch her. Raymond confirmed later to me that they wanted to make sure Whitley was fine and didn't have to spend anytime in the NICU on a monitor. I think that would of been kind of traumatic for me to see her on a monitor, so I am glad I didn't have too. They let Raymond bring her over to me once her O2 got straightened out and I just remember wanting to touch her so bad and be close to her but Raymond was hogging her! He would like bring her over to my crazy drug induced scratched off face for a few seconds and then pull her back to him. The nurse sensed my desire to be close to my daughter so she took her from Raymond and put her cheek against mine. I can still feel that moment today in my mind. It was amazing. After that we got some family pics and Raymond went off to the nursery with his new baby girl and Deb the FNP. They got me all fixed up and took me to the recovery room. Part 3 soon to come.........................

Whitley Don Brunson Born on 4/5/13 at 10:47am Mountain Time 7lbs 12ounces and 18.5 inches long And BEAUTIFUL!

Miss Whitley - Part 1

Since Whitley is the newest memeber of our family she hasn't got any "blog attention" yet, so I have decided to do a post about her, but in 3 parts so the read doesn't get too long for you guys. She must of known this because it has taken me almost a week to write the post. The little Miss came down with her first bug EVER on Monday. Poor thing had a 102 temp :( Nothing serious though. Just a yucky, keep Mom up all night bug. Whitley wasn't a planned pregnancy, but neither was my last one :) Unplanned blessing are the best though! I found out about her shortly after Raymond and I returned from our honeymoon in Vegas. I remember having a day in Vegas were I felt kinda "funny" and for a short second had a pregnancy feeling memory flash back, but I thought it was all the heat and sun. Vegas in August is HOT. I also enjoyed some (a lot) of drinks........Mom fail.........I am sorry but I didn't know! I had an emotional meltdown to my Dr. at one of my first appointments about my drinkning on my honeymoon and he told me I shouldn't worry I am not a horrible person. When I found out I was pregnant I wasn't upset... I was happy, but I was scared to tell Raymond. We had decided to be done and enjoy our family the way it was, and that is what he thought we were doing, so I wasn't sure how he was going to react. In fact, I told my sister, sis-in-law, and a couple of my bff's before I told him. That wasn't very cool of me, but I had to tell someone and get their reactions first before his. Seemed legit. Raymond wasn't upset at all. He was like, well it wasn't planned, but it will be great. Then he told me it was a girl he just knew it was. After I told him I felt stupid that I thought he would be upset. We both prayed for 1 baby and 1 HEALTHY baby. I made a Dr.'s appointment immediately. I was kind of pushy and bitchy about it too. I was NOT going to have an experience like last time! I demanded an ultrasound to see how many baby(ies) I was having and that baby looked normal so far. I remember she told me that we have to have a reason for an ultrasound or insurance will not cover it. I told her she better find a reason then because it was happening and soon! I mean I could think of several and I am not a Dr.! I found out about triplets at 19 weeks and since they were born at 26 weeks I didn't really get time to absorb it all plus take care of myself properly. I also demanded that they get all my medical info from Bismarck right away. After that I was a nicer patient. My care this time was WONDERFUL. I had a great medical team working with me. I had a ton of appointments - it was almost overkill - but they really wanted me to have a healthy pregnancy and most importantly a healthy baby to take home. When I went into labor last time my cervix was dangerously short and it basically was already too short the day I found out about the trips. This was due to carrying 3 people in my belly. My Dr. in Bismarck always said it's a house built for 1 not 3. The focus of this pregnancy was to watch that cervix like a hawk. Make sure it's not getting too short...... I had to get my cervical length measured every 2 weeks! It was a lot, but everytime I got my length measured I got to see her via ultrasound. I had more ultrasounds with Whitley than the trips and I LOVED every minute of it! They quit doing lengths at 33 weeks because they said after that studies show it really doesn't matter. Your body is getting ready to give birth in a month or 2 and everyone is different, so it could get really short or not. It just depends and after 36 weeks if you go into labor they will not stop you. My pregnancy with Whitley was rough but WORTH it! First off, I have weird blood, this was discovered after my baby Robert passed. I have prothrombin gene mutation, which means my blood clots fast. I am at risk of having a blood clot and when you are pregnant you are at risk of having a blood clot. The 2 together put my at like a 60% plus chance of developing a clot. So I had to give myself heparin shots twice a day the entire pregnancy and 6 weeks after. I was also terribly sick until about 14-16 weeks. I had bad mourning sickness last time too, but it was like a sudden OMG I am going to throw up everywhere this very second. I would and then I would be fine util the next time, but it made me afraid to go places because of that sudden unexpected upchucking. With Whitley I just felt like I had the flu all day almost every day. I didn't really throw up often, but it was hard to function. I sat a my desk pep talking myself, "pull your shit together Jenn!" all the time. My second trimester was okay, but I got HUGE and FAT! I was so sick of comments about how "big" I was getting. Why do people say that shit? It's one thing to say oh you are getting a baby bump and how cute is your baby bump, but to tell someone they are huge......no.......don't do that. Or the "are you sure there is only one in there?" Excuse me? Do you know who you are talking too? I don't know if it's because I am short or what, but I get really big when I am pregnant. Well last time I expected too get pretty big, but this time I was hoping not too. I really watched what I ate and my salt for several months, but the number on the scale just kept going up so finally I was like screw it I am eating what I want! Bad idea......bad bad idea Jenn. I gained about 65lbs with her and I am pretty sure only 25-30ish has came off so far. Since I was back in my jeans 3 weeks after the triplets I really convinced myself that would happen again. My thrid trimester wasn't so bad, just uncomfortable. At that point I was tired of Dr. appoinments and backaches, insomnia, etc. I just wanted to meet her, and hold her, and kiss her, and LOVE her. I was SO excited that I got past 26 weeks and I was going to have a full term baby. It was the best feeling ever! I remember during ultrasound when they told me she exceeded Joe's birth weight I was so excited! We scheduled her cesection on 4/5/13 at 10am. If I was going to go into labor on my own before that I was going to give it a go by myself, but I didn't (I was secretly glad) and so off to the hospital we went on that cool spring Friday morning. Stay tuned for part 2 Whitley's entrance into the world! 5ish Months

7ish Months

One Year

That is how long Raymond and I have been married on 7/28/13! I can't believe a year has already flown by. When Raymond and I discussed getting married before our actual engagement I didn't think it was a big deal. I mean, we love eachother, we are happy, we already have started a family, we bought a home together - what could possibly change by getting married? As lame as this sounds, the biggest reason I wanted to get married was because I wanted to have the same last name as my kids. It was that simple. To my surprise our marriage did change our relationship much more than just my last name. I feel whole, I feel more in love with Raymond which I didn't think was possible, and I feel like he completes me as a person. I always took our relationship seriously, but now I do on a whole new level. I know how corny that all sounds, but it's true...........it really is. As most of you know, Raymond and I have been on quite a journey together the past almost 5 years. Throughout our journey, especially during the very difficult times, people have lovingly asked me, "Are you guys doing okay? This is a lot to handle.....This can be hard on relationships....." I can honestly say during our very difficult times Raymond and I became closer and more in love with eachother. He is my BIGGEST supporter. He truly cares about my feelings and my opinions. He cares about my mental state. He really tries to understand me. He makes me think about other prospectives when I am being one-sided and stubborn. I, in return, strive to be that person for him. When Raymond came into my life it was random and unexpected. Truthfully, we hadn't been dating long when I got pregnant, but I knew this guy was special so I took it and ran with it. Even if it didn't work out I was going to be a mother and I was determined to be a great mother. Then it was triplets..........then it was preemies..........then it was unbareable loss.......then it was sick children.....and so on and so on and so on. During the entire experience with the babies I kept waiting, almost expecting my whirlwind romance with him to fall apart from the stress, but it didn't. It just got stronger and better and stronger and better. I realized in all this sadness, that was so hard to understand, the Lord brought me this incredible gift. My soulmate. Never did I expect my soulmate to be some redneck from Arkansas who loves country music and guns. The Lord knew and he had plan for us, he brought us together on this journey for a reason. Raymond and I have had many conversations about almost feeling guilty about how happy and in love we felt with eachother during that terrible sadness. That's the truth though. Now our relationship isn't all unicorns and rainbows and I don't mean to make it sound that way. We bicker, we fight, we yell, and we give eachother the silent treatment sometimes. I even go completely psycho on the poor guy occasionally. But that is okay because deep down inside our bond is real and sealed. I guess the saying, "The Lord works in mysteriesous ways" is true. Happy Anniversary to my redneck Husband and the amazing Father to my babies! *****I am posting this now because I get sidetracked on the weekend and might forget*****

The Past

So it's literally impossible for me to recap the last like year and half to be "up to par" on the blog, so what I can do is highlight the major events. Most of you know what is going on in my life anyways ;) One year ago this coming Sunday is my one year anniversary! I can't believe Raymond and I have been married that long already - it's not LONG, but I mean a year fly's by quickly! When we got married I was knocked up again but didn't know it. Whitley Don Brunson arrived at 10:47AM Mountain Time on 4/5/2013 of this year :) Best unplanned idea we ever had and I carried her for an entire nine months! She came out perfect and healthy. Plus she was breathing! That can be taken for granted my friends. Even though I let Raymond name the triplets I decided to let him name her too. She is named after Keith Whitley and Don Williams. Apparently these guys are some of Raymond's most favorite country music singers of all time. I personally had no idea who the hell they were, but needless to say I think he did a great job baby naming for the 4th time. Joe started preschool in October 2012. That was a big one for me. I was so afraid for him to go to school for some reason. He LOVES it and is quite a hit at school. I was so worried for him to be in this big huge school and riding the bus and going to PE and working with new therapists and and and............ I majorly overreact with him, but that is a whole another blog post. Blake is still adorable and wonderful........and HELPFUL! If I would of known how helpful 6 yr olds were I would of wanted them around all the time. He never complains about it either. He wants to help me do anything and I am starting to love our conversations. He is so smart and our conversations have jumped into a new level. He is starting kindergarten this year. Well I think I will leave it at that. I have a crying baby that wants to eat.

Fresh

Notice the new look? The new name? It's a new Jenn and new blog. Okay it's not a new blog it's the same one, but I wanted to give myself a fresh start on it. I love writing. There are way better writers out there then myself, but that is okay. Writing is theraputic and I have decided that my life isn't that busy anymore and to make time for it. I mean everyone is busy not just me and we all need to make time for the stuff we enjoy! I think this is like my 3rd promise to myself to start blogging again......but it will stick.......I think.......I hope! I am anxious to start writing again.