This weekend we are traveling north to spend some holiday time with my family in North Dakota. We leave tomorrow morning and will be heading back on Sunday late afternoon, so it's going to be a quick trip.
I still have some gifts to get and packing to do tonight - as we are having a Christmas/New Years Day celebration at my Grandma and Grandpa's house in Richardton, ND.
Tomorrow we are going to make a quick trip to Bismarck to visit my cousin Shawn. Shawn is in the hospital right now having a rough time. So let send lots of prayers and positive vibes his way and my Aunt's way as she has been at the hospital with him for over 2 weeks!!!! Bless her heart!
I am so ready for 2012! Lots of exciting happy events are going to occur - our January weekend trip to Deadwood with my Dad, our wedding, Raymond and I are going spend a week in Vegas for our honeymoon, my 10 year class reunion should be this summer, and we plan on a trip to Arkansas for Christmas. Plus the usual yearly happy stuff like Blake's 5th birthday and Joe's 3rd birthday. I can't believe how big they are getting :) and I love having over the top parties for them!
Happy New Year everyone!!!
Picture taken by the lovely Janel Johnson at Janel Johnson Photography
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Ahhh....What a Nice Weekend!
This weekend was filled with commotion, food, fun, great company, drinks, and presents.....lots of presents!
On Friday night Raymond and I went Christmas shopping - literally just started we had NOTHING done. It was fun......we got the boys their gifts and a few others. After all the shopping we had supper and went to a movie together. I was in desperate need for a date night, so it was perfect timing! Sometimes when you have kids you are so busy running around them you forget about how much fun it is to hang out with each other!
We celebrated the holidays at our house. I am glad to say my grinchy self was at bay and I really enjoyed our family time! I even put up the tree on the 24th and decorated the house a little. How could Santa possibly come to a house with no tree or stockings?
My Dad came down from my hometown of Mott to have Christmas with us. The rest was my family, my brothers, and my Mom. Small but fun.
On Saturday night we got Blake and once we got home we wasted no time. We baked Santa some cookies, because we wanted him to leave us a good present. The next morning the kids opened presents and boy did they get a lot of gifts! Spoiled, but they deserved it.
Raymond decided to start the floor project in the playroom and my Dad was there to supervise as he would say :) They did an excellent job! You are probably wondering why we would need to put a new floor down on a room we just remodeled? Well.... we have 3 stupid dogs that try to ruin my life. I know that sounds mean and if they were gone I would be sad, but I am a perfectionist, so having these dogs destroy all our efforts at a nice house makes me fuming MAD! I cannot understand why Raymond likes them so much because all they do is make me furious! We had a laminate floor and since Juicy our black lab is a brat she thinks it is okay to go "hide" somewhere and pee. She goes into rooms that I am not frequently in because she knows I won't see her and thinks I will never find it. This is true to some degree.......well no matter how much I cleaned that floor it just felt disgusting. Like pee soaked to the bottom of it or something. I didn't want the kids to play in there which defeats the whole purpose of a playroom. Raymond agreed it was disgusting, so now we have slate tile and nothing will get underneath that!!! In a way it was a blessing because the slate looks nicer I think! Gotta love $1300 floors wasted! Damn dogs!
Sunday while the boys worked on the floor I slaved away in the kitchen cooking the meal. I enjoyed some wine well I cooked, which also makes me feel like I am a better cook ;)
It was a great weekend that went by very fast! Hope everyone has a wonderful 2012 - it's just around the corner!
On Friday night Raymond and I went Christmas shopping - literally just started we had NOTHING done. It was fun......we got the boys their gifts and a few others. After all the shopping we had supper and went to a movie together. I was in desperate need for a date night, so it was perfect timing! Sometimes when you have kids you are so busy running around them you forget about how much fun it is to hang out with each other!
We celebrated the holidays at our house. I am glad to say my grinchy self was at bay and I really enjoyed our family time! I even put up the tree on the 24th and decorated the house a little. How could Santa possibly come to a house with no tree or stockings?
My Dad came down from my hometown of Mott to have Christmas with us. The rest was my family, my brothers, and my Mom. Small but fun.
On Saturday night we got Blake and once we got home we wasted no time. We baked Santa some cookies, because we wanted him to leave us a good present. The next morning the kids opened presents and boy did they get a lot of gifts! Spoiled, but they deserved it.
Raymond decided to start the floor project in the playroom and my Dad was there to supervise as he would say :) They did an excellent job! You are probably wondering why we would need to put a new floor down on a room we just remodeled? Well.... we have 3 stupid dogs that try to ruin my life. I know that sounds mean and if they were gone I would be sad, but I am a perfectionist, so having these dogs destroy all our efforts at a nice house makes me fuming MAD! I cannot understand why Raymond likes them so much because all they do is make me furious! We had a laminate floor and since Juicy our black lab is a brat she thinks it is okay to go "hide" somewhere and pee. She goes into rooms that I am not frequently in because she knows I won't see her and thinks I will never find it. This is true to some degree.......well no matter how much I cleaned that floor it just felt disgusting. Like pee soaked to the bottom of it or something. I didn't want the kids to play in there which defeats the whole purpose of a playroom. Raymond agreed it was disgusting, so now we have slate tile and nothing will get underneath that!!! In a way it was a blessing because the slate looks nicer I think! Gotta love $1300 floors wasted! Damn dogs!
Sunday while the boys worked on the floor I slaved away in the kitchen cooking the meal. I enjoyed some wine well I cooked, which also makes me feel like I am a better cook ;)
It was a great weekend that went by very fast! Hope everyone has a wonderful 2012 - it's just around the corner!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Grinch
I debated on doing a post about this, but since it's my blog and I can do what I want I decided I would.
So I am just going to say it. I can't stand Christmas. I know..... how terrible and you are thinking, "I can't believe she is publicly announcing it. Keep it to yourself lady." It's true though.... I hate it. I try to be a very positive happy upbeat lady, but sometimes I just don't really feel like it.
Why I can't stand Christmas you might ask?
Well Christmas has so much character. It is such a symbolic month compared to the others. There are so many things, smells, songs, etc. that are well........ Christmas. I can't think of any other month quite like it.
Do you ever smell something or see something or hear something that REMINDS you of something? Of course you do. I can think of a lot of things that remind me of a time in my life happy or unhappy. With that being said........everything Christmas reminds me of Ella. In fact, October 28th (when Robert passed) to January 1st is kind of a depressing time for me. Because who can be sad about New Year's when everyone gets to start over? The first Christmas in 2009 when the kids were still in the NICU Ella was very sick and of course the year after that Ella became a Princess Angel.
So the music, the smells, the food, the decorations, the presents, the TV shows, the lights it all reminds me of a very sad time. A very sad one. Sometimes to the point that it feels like all those awful things are happening again right now. It is so ugly to feel depressed and just wish something away so you can be happy and not think about it in depth anymore. It's almost like an unwanted visitor coming to see me and torture me......"Oh great Christmas is here again put on your happy face and be normal." I have to for the kids - I don't want to ruin it for them. I do not want them to be adults and say, "Christmas wasn't a fun time at our house because our Mom was such a downer about it. Our Mom crushed our Christmas spirit just because she was miserable!" How selfish would that make me? I didn't even put my tree up this year, decorate my house, or decorate my office!
This is still fresh and new. I think in time my attitude will change. I really think it will, but for now I am Jenn the Grinch and that is just the way it is going to be this year and maybe a few more to come. Until I decide to quit feeling sorry for myself and being selfish.
Merry Christmas Everyone! (That's a good start right?)
So I am just going to say it. I can't stand Christmas. I know..... how terrible and you are thinking, "I can't believe she is publicly announcing it. Keep it to yourself lady." It's true though.... I hate it. I try to be a very positive happy upbeat lady, but sometimes I just don't really feel like it.
Why I can't stand Christmas you might ask?
Well Christmas has so much character. It is such a symbolic month compared to the others. There are so many things, smells, songs, etc. that are well........ Christmas. I can't think of any other month quite like it.
Do you ever smell something or see something or hear something that REMINDS you of something? Of course you do. I can think of a lot of things that remind me of a time in my life happy or unhappy. With that being said........everything Christmas reminds me of Ella. In fact, October 28th (when Robert passed) to January 1st is kind of a depressing time for me. Because who can be sad about New Year's when everyone gets to start over? The first Christmas in 2009 when the kids were still in the NICU Ella was very sick and of course the year after that Ella became a Princess Angel.
So the music, the smells, the food, the decorations, the presents, the TV shows, the lights it all reminds me of a very sad time. A very sad one. Sometimes to the point that it feels like all those awful things are happening again right now. It is so ugly to feel depressed and just wish something away so you can be happy and not think about it in depth anymore. It's almost like an unwanted visitor coming to see me and torture me......"Oh great Christmas is here again put on your happy face and be normal." I have to for the kids - I don't want to ruin it for them. I do not want them to be adults and say, "Christmas wasn't a fun time at our house because our Mom was such a downer about it. Our Mom crushed our Christmas spirit just because she was miserable!" How selfish would that make me? I didn't even put my tree up this year, decorate my house, or decorate my office!
This is still fresh and new. I think in time my attitude will change. I really think it will, but for now I am Jenn the Grinch and that is just the way it is going to be this year and maybe a few more to come. Until I decide to quit feeling sorry for myself and being selfish.
Merry Christmas Everyone! (That's a good start right?)
Monday, December 19, 2011
What Has Blake Been Up Too........?
I can't believe how big Blake is getting and how much he has changed since last year! I was thinking about 2012 coming up and comparing him to early 2011. What a big boy!
1. Blake started preschool this year. It is just darling let me tell you! He tells me about school and his teacher Ms. Kiefert (sp?) who I can tell he likes tremendously! Blake likes to sing songs to Joe that he has learned at preschool and occasionally will put on a little concert in the living room. He stands on the ottoman and sings his heart out! When he is really feeling it he plays air guitar. Joe is his biggest fan and has attended every live performance Blake has put on :) I have also noticed since he started preschool that he really knows his colors, numbers, and is getting good with letters. He also does a lot more than just scribbling when he colors/draws. I love looking at his art work! Just over a week ago my brother Michael and I went to his xmas program. They created snowmen costumes out of construction paper, yarn, fabric for their scarves, and paper plates. It was super cute. Listening to him sing was great too - he did a fantastic job. I was so proud!
2. Blake is getting very tall! We started doing measurements on the trim in the entrance way between the living room and kitchen. I got a black sharpie and have him stand straight up against it and we draw a line for his height, write his name next to the line, and put the date by it. (Joe is also being measured :) I told Blake we will check their height every 6-7 months. The next measurement is going to be the first week of April 2012 sometime. He tells me he needs to drink a lot of juice and milk so he is very tall next time! Once he gets tall enough Daddy is going to buy him a big boy gun. That frightens me but okay.....
3. Blake loves animals. We have 3 dogs now - Syd, Juicy, and Oakley is the newbie - Blake plays with them constantly. Especially Oakley! They have a blast (or I feel sorry for the dogs) and I feel like I am a nag because it's a constant, "you guys need to settle down!" coming from me. It is to loud and crazy for the house, but it's a delight to watch them play together. Joe thinks it's a hoot too! Blake also has a split personality - he is either his sweet wonderful Blake self or he is Brutus the friendly puppy doggie self. He will crawl in bed with us panting and barking. I use to say, "Are you a puppy Blake?" and he would say, "No JuJu I am Brutus the puppy doggie!" So then I would have to pet his ears and scratch his head. Now I just know when his second personality Brutus comes and go with it. ***Blake doesn't really suffer from split personality I am just being silly*** Sometimes folks take things out of context....... Haha!
4. Blake loves popsicles, noodles, buns, bread sticks, juice, popcorn, ice-cream, and pancakes. Literally, those are the only things I can get the boy to eat. In fact, he would only eat popsicles all day if Raymond and I would allow it. To be honest I hate to be the bad guy - so when he has had enough popsicles I make Raymond tell him "no" when he asks for another one. I know.... I am quite clever like that. Raymond can't figure out why he answers the who is your favorite question as "JuJu's my favorite!" Tricky tricky I am....too bad Raymond can't be so clever.... :) He decided this year he hates tomato sauces of any nature. So no spaghetti, spaghettio's, lasagna, and he is picky with pizza. It's funny how kids just have a sudden change of heart on food like that! Someone should teach me this trick!
5. Blake is very wonderful with Joe. He loves to make him laugh and knows just how to do it too. He plays peek-a-boo with him and acts like a crazy monster. Sometimes they get a little too crazy and have to settle them down with the monster thing, but it is still cute! Joe has been pretty whinny lately - the terrible 2's - and when he whines Blake will say, "JuJu Joe Joe needs to take a nap now." or "JuJu Joe Joe told me he wants to take a nap and that is why he is crying." The second one is my personal favorite. He will also sit there with his hands over his ears shaking his head like he can't believe how terrible Joe is being...haha! They do play together well and Blake likes to push Joe in his stroller or around the house in his walker toy. I love the looks on Joe's face when he is listening or watching Blake. I think Blake is a comfort to him and he knows that's his big brother. They look a lot alike too.........you can certainly tell they are brothers.
6. My favorite quality of Blake is he is so sweet natured and honest. He is never mean to people and he is kind without trying, almost like it isn't an effort at all. I love his personality, how he is so eager to tell me stories and he is full of imagination and adventure. He always admits to breaking something or losing something and apologizes for it right away. You can't even get mad at him because he handles it almost perfectly! I think the world would be a better place if more people were like Blake Brunson!
Love you Blakers.......
Snowman at his Xmas concert :)
Daddy and Blake fishing in Arkansas 2011
Goofing off - Jenn, Blake, and Joe - July 2011
Can you find Blake???
Do you love DJ Lance in the background?
1. Blake started preschool this year. It is just darling let me tell you! He tells me about school and his teacher Ms. Kiefert (sp?) who I can tell he likes tremendously! Blake likes to sing songs to Joe that he has learned at preschool and occasionally will put on a little concert in the living room. He stands on the ottoman and sings his heart out! When he is really feeling it he plays air guitar. Joe is his biggest fan and has attended every live performance Blake has put on :) I have also noticed since he started preschool that he really knows his colors, numbers, and is getting good with letters. He also does a lot more than just scribbling when he colors/draws. I love looking at his art work! Just over a week ago my brother Michael and I went to his xmas program. They created snowmen costumes out of construction paper, yarn, fabric for their scarves, and paper plates. It was super cute. Listening to him sing was great too - he did a fantastic job. I was so proud!
2. Blake is getting very tall! We started doing measurements on the trim in the entrance way between the living room and kitchen. I got a black sharpie and have him stand straight up against it and we draw a line for his height, write his name next to the line, and put the date by it. (Joe is also being measured :) I told Blake we will check their height every 6-7 months. The next measurement is going to be the first week of April 2012 sometime. He tells me he needs to drink a lot of juice and milk so he is very tall next time! Once he gets tall enough Daddy is going to buy him a big boy gun. That frightens me but okay.....
3. Blake loves animals. We have 3 dogs now - Syd, Juicy, and Oakley is the newbie - Blake plays with them constantly. Especially Oakley! They have a blast (or I feel sorry for the dogs) and I feel like I am a nag because it's a constant, "you guys need to settle down!" coming from me. It is to loud and crazy for the house, but it's a delight to watch them play together. Joe thinks it's a hoot too! Blake also has a split personality - he is either his sweet wonderful Blake self or he is Brutus the friendly puppy doggie self. He will crawl in bed with us panting and barking. I use to say, "Are you a puppy Blake?" and he would say, "No JuJu I am Brutus the puppy doggie!" So then I would have to pet his ears and scratch his head. Now I just know when his second personality Brutus comes and go with it. ***Blake doesn't really suffer from split personality I am just being silly*** Sometimes folks take things out of context....... Haha!
4. Blake loves popsicles, noodles, buns, bread sticks, juice, popcorn, ice-cream, and pancakes. Literally, those are the only things I can get the boy to eat. In fact, he would only eat popsicles all day if Raymond and I would allow it. To be honest I hate to be the bad guy - so when he has had enough popsicles I make Raymond tell him "no" when he asks for another one. I know.... I am quite clever like that. Raymond can't figure out why he answers the who is your favorite question as "JuJu's my favorite!" Tricky tricky I am....too bad Raymond can't be so clever.... :) He decided this year he hates tomato sauces of any nature. So no spaghetti, spaghettio's, lasagna, and he is picky with pizza. It's funny how kids just have a sudden change of heart on food like that! Someone should teach me this trick!
5. Blake is very wonderful with Joe. He loves to make him laugh and knows just how to do it too. He plays peek-a-boo with him and acts like a crazy monster. Sometimes they get a little too crazy and have to settle them down with the monster thing, but it is still cute! Joe has been pretty whinny lately - the terrible 2's - and when he whines Blake will say, "JuJu Joe Joe needs to take a nap now." or "JuJu Joe Joe told me he wants to take a nap and that is why he is crying." The second one is my personal favorite. He will also sit there with his hands over his ears shaking his head like he can't believe how terrible Joe is being...haha! They do play together well and Blake likes to push Joe in his stroller or around the house in his walker toy. I love the looks on Joe's face when he is listening or watching Blake. I think Blake is a comfort to him and he knows that's his big brother. They look a lot alike too.........you can certainly tell they are brothers.
6. My favorite quality of Blake is he is so sweet natured and honest. He is never mean to people and he is kind without trying, almost like it isn't an effort at all. I love his personality, how he is so eager to tell me stories and he is full of imagination and adventure. He always admits to breaking something or losing something and apologizes for it right away. You can't even get mad at him because he handles it almost perfectly! I think the world would be a better place if more people were like Blake Brunson!
Love you Blakers.......
Blake and Daddy at their 2011 annual Hippo fountain picture
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
12-14-11 Year One
So today..............
Today is the one year anniversary of Ella's passing. It's a heart wrenching day really. I am trying to be positive instead of laying in bed all day crying. It was tempting though. I even had a plan for today. I was going to call in sick at work, lay in my bed with my special Ella box and my laptop, and I was going to cry. I was going to look through all her lovely things..... all my keepsakes.....all my memories the good and the bad.....check if I can still smell her on her blankets.....admire her beautiful dresses....look at the millions of pictures...... play with her toys......listen to her music.......watch videos of her of us. Yeah........ that was the game plan. Yesterday I decided I couldn't do it. I won't..........it's hard not too, but I need to celebrate her first year in heaven not cry about it. Celebrate that she is no longer in pain, that she can breathe, she can eat, she can move, she isn't hooked up to machines, she doesn't have tubes and needles in her, and most importantly she isn't suffering anymore.
I go back - back to that day and the moments surrounding it. She was suffering and it just felt horrible and I felt helpless. I wanted to trade places with her and I couldn't. I have spent several moments this past year feeling very confident that the best thing was done for Ella - the best I knew to give her. I have also spent moments scared, scared I did the wrong thing for her. Scared that wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't tell me. Every decision I made during her 14 months was the best I knew to make. Everything I did was in good intentions for everyone involved. I always thought of my needs and wants last..........ALWAYS. Despite what I have heard or been told by others (which I have also learned that people are assholes). I spent this first year reflecting a lot about everything that happened. I always feel comforted by knowing I was really always trying to do the right things. But really what is the right things when you are in that situation? I wish there would of been a book of answers for me.
I have never told anyone this, but shortly before she passed I was holding Ella and she was very sick. I told her, "Ella, if you want or can't do this anymore Mommy understands and still loves you and will always love you forever." Right after I said that.........she stopped breathing and coded. Of course they took her from my arms and revived her - like I seen happen a million times, but that time it felt different and after that I knew.......I knew she wasn't going to live. I felt like she was telling me something - like she heard me. It was different than the 100's of times I called Raymond hysterically bawling telling him this is it and that she was really going to die this time. I wasn't hysterical and desperate for a miracle. I was so sad I was almost calm - I knew what was happening. I knew it was going to be the most devastating thing that would ever happen to me and I knew it was out of everyones hands and in God's now. There was only one thing Raymond and I could do for her. Something we never wanted it to come too.
I would give anything to rock her one more night in our rocking chair. Just her and I while she sleeps on my chest. Ella smelt like vanilla oatmeal baby soap and clean laundry :) When she would sleep I would look down at her shut eyes and admire her mile long eyelashes. She was a beautiful little girl even though she was so sick and never felt very good. Ella was still so pretty.
Raymond and I decided it was time for Ella to start living - and sadly that couldn't be with us any more. Ella wasn't living here though she was just existing.
I believe now she is living. That is all I ever wanted for her. So lets celebrate that!
Today is the one year anniversary of Ella's passing. It's a heart wrenching day really. I am trying to be positive instead of laying in bed all day crying. It was tempting though. I even had a plan for today. I was going to call in sick at work, lay in my bed with my special Ella box and my laptop, and I was going to cry. I was going to look through all her lovely things..... all my keepsakes.....all my memories the good and the bad.....check if I can still smell her on her blankets.....admire her beautiful dresses....look at the millions of pictures...... play with her toys......listen to her music.......watch videos of her of us. Yeah........ that was the game plan. Yesterday I decided I couldn't do it. I won't..........it's hard not too, but I need to celebrate her first year in heaven not cry about it. Celebrate that she is no longer in pain, that she can breathe, she can eat, she can move, she isn't hooked up to machines, she doesn't have tubes and needles in her, and most importantly she isn't suffering anymore.
I go back - back to that day and the moments surrounding it. She was suffering and it just felt horrible and I felt helpless. I wanted to trade places with her and I couldn't. I have spent several moments this past year feeling very confident that the best thing was done for Ella - the best I knew to give her. I have also spent moments scared, scared I did the wrong thing for her. Scared that wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't tell me. Every decision I made during her 14 months was the best I knew to make. Everything I did was in good intentions for everyone involved. I always thought of my needs and wants last..........ALWAYS. Despite what I have heard or been told by others (which I have also learned that people are assholes). I spent this first year reflecting a lot about everything that happened. I always feel comforted by knowing I was really always trying to do the right things. But really what is the right things when you are in that situation? I wish there would of been a book of answers for me.
I have never told anyone this, but shortly before she passed I was holding Ella and she was very sick. I told her, "Ella, if you want or can't do this anymore Mommy understands and still loves you and will always love you forever." Right after I said that.........she stopped breathing and coded. Of course they took her from my arms and revived her - like I seen happen a million times, but that time it felt different and after that I knew.......I knew she wasn't going to live. I felt like she was telling me something - like she heard me. It was different than the 100's of times I called Raymond hysterically bawling telling him this is it and that she was really going to die this time. I wasn't hysterical and desperate for a miracle. I was so sad I was almost calm - I knew what was happening. I knew it was going to be the most devastating thing that would ever happen to me and I knew it was out of everyones hands and in God's now. There was only one thing Raymond and I could do for her. Something we never wanted it to come too.
I would give anything to rock her one more night in our rocking chair. Just her and I while she sleeps on my chest. Ella smelt like vanilla oatmeal baby soap and clean laundry :) When she would sleep I would look down at her shut eyes and admire her mile long eyelashes. She was a beautiful little girl even though she was so sick and never felt very good. Ella was still so pretty.
Raymond and I decided it was time for Ella to start living - and sadly that couldn't be with us any more. Ella wasn't living here though she was just existing.
I believe now she is living. That is all I ever wanted for her. So lets celebrate that!
What's Joe Been Up Too???
Little Joe is growing up like a weed! What has he been doing lately? LOTS - I am amazed at how much he has grown and continues to change.
1. Joe can totally get around commando crawling now. This is also known as "belly crawling". He goes everywhere. Constantly. All the time. I use to not watch him too carefully (that makes me sound like an irresponsible Mom I know, but honestly is a virtue) because he just stayed in the living room in his "area" with his toys. He played away not really going out on any adventures. Now he is in the bathroom, my bedroom, his bedroom, the kitchen, closets, you name it he goes there. He loves to open and close doors. Not by turning the knob of course he cannot reach it, but he swings the corner of the door shut and opens it if he doesn't accidentally shut it all the way. Sometimes he goes into a room and then accidentally shuts the door completely and I can't find him for a moment. Eeeeeekkkkk!!!! Scares me to death.
2. Joe can get up on all fours. He gets up on all fours and "rocks it"........literally he rocks himself ...back and fourth - back and fourth - back and fourth. It is so cute to watch him do this. Concentrating and trying to rock faster and faster until he is too tired and needs a break. He looks like he is training for his event in the Olympics or something. Some mornings when I hear he is awake - I go to his room to get him up for the day and there he is in his footy jammies rocking his little heart out :)
3. Joe likes to stand! He can stand up against something, so we like to use the ottoman. We put some toys up there and he stands to play with them. Then we work on some side walking all with the lovely Kim, his physical therapist. He does well with it - really well - like it shocked me to be honest with you. It really made me feel like Joe will walk someday, which was always a fear of mine. No one wants to think about their child not being able to walk, but it's a realistic thought in my life sadly. Regardless, Joe is awesome - walking or not. He will be the most popular kid in school probably. Everyone wants to be Joe's friend :)
4. Joe is getting better at sitting. He can't sit the best on his own, but it's 100x's better than it was early summer. He can sit for about 5 minutes at a time. It looks awkward too. He never puts himself into a sitting position either, if I do it - or one of his lovely therapy ladies - he will sit well. He actually tries to get himself into a standing against furniture position more often than trying to sit up on his own. He must be an overachiever - sitting? what?.....heck lets stand up instead!
5. Joe started a new medication. It is called baclaphen. This is a muscle relaxer. He is super tight on his right side (especially that right hand), trunk muscles, and his feet. This will help loosen him up so he can start doing the physical things he wants to do. I noticed a difference almost immediately. That was when he started to crawl everywhere and he actually uses his right arm now. He uses it to hold himself up when he is sitting and "rocking it". He also moves it forward when he crawls. His right arm use to get stuck behind him and that is why he wouldn't crawl. It was like a light bulb went off in his head when he started the baclaphen - like suddenly he could feel his body better and make it move. It's a magic potion :)
6. Joe has a lot of his teeth now. He only has like 5 more to go I think and that includes his 2 year old molars. He has the best smile ever :)
7. Joe loves loves and I mean he really loves sweets. He has such a sweet tooth. Ice cream, bars, cookies, donuts, fudge, you name it! He doesn't have any texture issues if it's covered in sugar or frosting. Joe doesn't really like "dry" foods like crackers and bread. I think the texture bugs him and he is afraid of choking, but....if it's a dessert of some kind he will eat it in 1.25 seconds flat! He also loves potatoes, rice, hamburger, and noodles. He is doing a fantastic job feeding himself. He doesn't use an eating utensil, but can eat almost anything with his left hand. He is also drinking out of a sippy all by himself. He uses the sippy cups with handles because he has to do it with his left hand which isn't big enough to wrap around a cup. Very independent little fella - does not want mom to feed him (unless it's ice-cream or pudding).
8. Joe isn't doing much talking. He knows I am his Mumma and he can say Dada. I think he recently realized Raymond is "Dada". Sometimes I hear a "yeah" out of him or a "deedee" "beebee".....I have no idea about those 2 but it's cute because he smiles when he says it. He likes to smack his lips, click his tongue, and give kisses too. When I speak to Joe he mimics my lip movements but sound does not come out of his mouth. Raymond and I were concerned about this, knowing he should be talking by now. Joe recently had an appointment with the pediatric neurologist - Dr. Sanchez - who is such a lovely man I really really like him. I think he is so wonderful with kids and a great Dr! At the appointment, Dr. Sanchez explained to me that the larger bleed Joe had, the grade IV, actually damaged the speech area of the brain. Not solely the speech area, but the majority of the bleed occurred in there. So that would explain his aphasia or lack of communicating or speaking. There are 2 common areas of the speech part of the brain (I hope I am going to explain right - I have been out of the medical terminology loop for awhile now). There is the Broca Area and Wernicke's Area. From what I understood from his speech therapist is that Broca is a receptor, understanding the communication and processing it. So... we ask you to something and you interpret the language and respond appropriately to it. The Wernicke's is actually executing what you want to say and do after you have interpreted it. Does that make sense? I hope I am not giving false info and I should google maybe.....haha! Again any medical friends feel free to correct me so I don't look like an idiot! I could of got them backwards! It seems Joe can interpret what we are saying and not execute his response. So basically, he can't say what he wants to say because that part of his brain was damaged which hindered the learning process of speech and speaking for him. He has to learn speech by training different areas in the brain to learn communication and speaking. A child's brain isn't wired yet - he can rewire his brain using a different route to learn to speech instead of the typical route already given to us at birth. I must be honest this bothered me.......it made me sad.......I thought about it a lot. What if my son can never tell me what he is thinking? What if I can never hear his voice.....? What if I never know what he is thinking because he can't tell me and gives up on it? I want to talk to my son - I want to be able to hear what he has to say. The lovely Amanda (Joe's speech therapist) told me that she doesn't feel like Joe will not talk, in fact she is confident he will. He will just have to work harder at it then everyone else, so that helped get me off my pity train :) Plus I shouldn't feel sorry for myself about that kind of stuff - I should be grateful he is here, but I think I deserve too sometimes :)
Wikipedia is the smartest!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke's_area
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broca's_area
Merry Chirstmas!
****Sorry about the long post****
1. Joe can totally get around commando crawling now. This is also known as "belly crawling". He goes everywhere. Constantly. All the time. I use to not watch him too carefully (that makes me sound like an irresponsible Mom I know, but honestly is a virtue) because he just stayed in the living room in his "area" with his toys. He played away not really going out on any adventures. Now he is in the bathroom, my bedroom, his bedroom, the kitchen, closets, you name it he goes there. He loves to open and close doors. Not by turning the knob of course he cannot reach it, but he swings the corner of the door shut and opens it if he doesn't accidentally shut it all the way. Sometimes he goes into a room and then accidentally shuts the door completely and I can't find him for a moment. Eeeeeekkkkk!!!! Scares me to death.
2. Joe can get up on all fours. He gets up on all fours and "rocks it"........literally he rocks himself ...back and fourth - back and fourth - back and fourth. It is so cute to watch him do this. Concentrating and trying to rock faster and faster until he is too tired and needs a break. He looks like he is training for his event in the Olympics or something. Some mornings when I hear he is awake - I go to his room to get him up for the day and there he is in his footy jammies rocking his little heart out :)
3. Joe likes to stand! He can stand up against something, so we like to use the ottoman. We put some toys up there and he stands to play with them. Then we work on some side walking all with the lovely Kim, his physical therapist. He does well with it - really well - like it shocked me to be honest with you. It really made me feel like Joe will walk someday, which was always a fear of mine. No one wants to think about their child not being able to walk, but it's a realistic thought in my life sadly. Regardless, Joe is awesome - walking or not. He will be the most popular kid in school probably. Everyone wants to be Joe's friend :)
4. Joe is getting better at sitting. He can't sit the best on his own, but it's 100x's better than it was early summer. He can sit for about 5 minutes at a time. It looks awkward too. He never puts himself into a sitting position either, if I do it - or one of his lovely therapy ladies - he will sit well. He actually tries to get himself into a standing against furniture position more often than trying to sit up on his own. He must be an overachiever - sitting? what?.....heck lets stand up instead!
5. Joe started a new medication. It is called baclaphen. This is a muscle relaxer. He is super tight on his right side (especially that right hand), trunk muscles, and his feet. This will help loosen him up so he can start doing the physical things he wants to do. I noticed a difference almost immediately. That was when he started to crawl everywhere and he actually uses his right arm now. He uses it to hold himself up when he is sitting and "rocking it". He also moves it forward when he crawls. His right arm use to get stuck behind him and that is why he wouldn't crawl. It was like a light bulb went off in his head when he started the baclaphen - like suddenly he could feel his body better and make it move. It's a magic potion :)
6. Joe has a lot of his teeth now. He only has like 5 more to go I think and that includes his 2 year old molars. He has the best smile ever :)
7. Joe loves loves and I mean he really loves sweets. He has such a sweet tooth. Ice cream, bars, cookies, donuts, fudge, you name it! He doesn't have any texture issues if it's covered in sugar or frosting. Joe doesn't really like "dry" foods like crackers and bread. I think the texture bugs him and he is afraid of choking, but....if it's a dessert of some kind he will eat it in 1.25 seconds flat! He also loves potatoes, rice, hamburger, and noodles. He is doing a fantastic job feeding himself. He doesn't use an eating utensil, but can eat almost anything with his left hand. He is also drinking out of a sippy all by himself. He uses the sippy cups with handles because he has to do it with his left hand which isn't big enough to wrap around a cup. Very independent little fella - does not want mom to feed him (unless it's ice-cream or pudding).
8. Joe isn't doing much talking. He knows I am his Mumma and he can say Dada. I think he recently realized Raymond is "Dada". Sometimes I hear a "yeah" out of him or a "deedee" "beebee".....I have no idea about those 2 but it's cute because he smiles when he says it. He likes to smack his lips, click his tongue, and give kisses too. When I speak to Joe he mimics my lip movements but sound does not come out of his mouth. Raymond and I were concerned about this, knowing he should be talking by now. Joe recently had an appointment with the pediatric neurologist - Dr. Sanchez - who is such a lovely man I really really like him. I think he is so wonderful with kids and a great Dr! At the appointment, Dr. Sanchez explained to me that the larger bleed Joe had, the grade IV, actually damaged the speech area of the brain. Not solely the speech area, but the majority of the bleed occurred in there. So that would explain his aphasia or lack of communicating or speaking. There are 2 common areas of the speech part of the brain (I hope I am going to explain right - I have been out of the medical terminology loop for awhile now). There is the Broca Area and Wernicke's Area. From what I understood from his speech therapist is that Broca is a receptor, understanding the communication and processing it. So... we ask you to something and you interpret the language and respond appropriately to it. The Wernicke's is actually executing what you want to say and do after you have interpreted it. Does that make sense? I hope I am not giving false info and I should google maybe.....haha! Again any medical friends feel free to correct me so I don't look like an idiot! I could of got them backwards! It seems Joe can interpret what we are saying and not execute his response. So basically, he can't say what he wants to say because that part of his brain was damaged which hindered the learning process of speech and speaking for him. He has to learn speech by training different areas in the brain to learn communication and speaking. A child's brain isn't wired yet - he can rewire his brain using a different route to learn to speech instead of the typical route already given to us at birth. I must be honest this bothered me.......it made me sad.......I thought about it a lot. What if my son can never tell me what he is thinking? What if I can never hear his voice.....? What if I never know what he is thinking because he can't tell me and gives up on it? I want to talk to my son - I want to be able to hear what he has to say. The lovely Amanda (Joe's speech therapist) told me that she doesn't feel like Joe will not talk, in fact she is confident he will. He will just have to work harder at it then everyone else, so that helped get me off my pity train :) Plus I shouldn't feel sorry for myself about that kind of stuff - I should be grateful he is here, but I think I deserve too sometimes :)
Wikipedia is the smartest!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke's_area
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broca's_area
****Sorry about the long post****
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thankful
It's the last day of turkey month and I still have not posted what I am thankful for!
I have so much to be thankful for too!
1. I have 2 beautiful, fantastic, amazing, little boys in my life that love me unconditionally. Thank you Blake and Joe - the apples of my eye! You guys give me so much happiness that words cannot describe it. I love you both with my whole heart!
2. I love my house. I am so grateful that every night I come home and have a place to sleep, but not just that...... I go to a home I love. I wouldn't trade my old house to live in a mansion with a butler! (well a butler might convince me otherwise...haha!)
3. I have a job..........and it sucks and stresses me out a lot I won't lie - but I have one and so many people are struggling out there trying to find work and a way to pay the bills, so I feel guilty whenever I complain about it and the stress. I remind myself to be grateful and thankful I have a place to call my work! Plus I have the greatest coworkers in the entire world. I guess you have to trade off, you can't have both a fantastic stress free job and the greatest coworkers in the entire world. I will take the coworkers!
4. Coffee and Diet Coke
5. I have 2 angels watching over me.
6. My brother Michael is alive and here! You forget how much you love your family and take them for granted, until something terrible happens. I don't want something terrible to happen for me to be thankful for them, so I will always remember this when I push back a trip to visit or say "I will give them a call tomorrow - I am tired tonight." There might not always be a tomorrow to talk to them - enjoy every moment you can and make time for the people you love. It is so easy to get wrapped up in unimportant crap!
7. I am with the love of my life - need I say more! I don't know what we do that makes it so great, in fact we have that conversation often pondering that very question. I am so lucky and grateful to have such a wonderful partner to share my life with! I wonder what I did right in life to deserve the happiness he gives me!
Happy Thanksgiving month to everyone! Now bring on Christmas!
I have so much to be thankful for too!
1. I have 2 beautiful, fantastic, amazing, little boys in my life that love me unconditionally. Thank you Blake and Joe - the apples of my eye! You guys give me so much happiness that words cannot describe it. I love you both with my whole heart!
2. I love my house. I am so grateful that every night I come home and have a place to sleep, but not just that...... I go to a home I love. I wouldn't trade my old house to live in a mansion with a butler! (well a butler might convince me otherwise...haha!)
3. I have a job..........and it sucks and stresses me out a lot I won't lie - but I have one and so many people are struggling out there trying to find work and a way to pay the bills, so I feel guilty whenever I complain about it and the stress. I remind myself to be grateful and thankful I have a place to call my work! Plus I have the greatest coworkers in the entire world. I guess you have to trade off, you can't have both a fantastic stress free job and the greatest coworkers in the entire world. I will take the coworkers!
4. Coffee and Diet Coke
5. I have 2 angels watching over me.
6. My brother Michael is alive and here! You forget how much you love your family and take them for granted, until something terrible happens. I don't want something terrible to happen for me to be thankful for them, so I will always remember this when I push back a trip to visit or say "I will give them a call tomorrow - I am tired tonight." There might not always be a tomorrow to talk to them - enjoy every moment you can and make time for the people you love. It is so easy to get wrapped up in unimportant crap!
7. I am with the love of my life - need I say more! I don't know what we do that makes it so great, in fact we have that conversation often pondering that very question. I am so lucky and grateful to have such a wonderful partner to share my life with! I wonder what I did right in life to deserve the happiness he gives me!
Happy Thanksgiving month to everyone! Now bring on Christmas!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Sadness in October
October was a busy month!
In my previous posts I talked of the the visit from Raymond's parents and little Joe's second birthday....very fun and very happy, but unfortunately we had some sadness as well.
The night of October 7th, my little brother Michael Bug was in a terrible auto accident. I got a phone call at about 2:30am while my sister and her boyfriend were standing at his side waiting for the ambulance. I felt like I couldn't breath - I was so worried... so anxious... so upset. Worrying about something you know is terrible but you do not yet know how terrible - that is the worst feeling! Michael was ambulanced to a nearby hospital. They stabilized him and life flighted him to Bismarck, ND. He was alive and we were grateful and it was a miracle, but we were scared - scared to learn of his injuries. All day on the 8th the Dr's were checking Michael and finding all his injuries so they could begin treatment. The day was spent with constant news.....some good and some bad.
Michael had a lot of injuries - scary ones. He had broken ribs, a fractured hip, a broken arm, a muscle on his broken arm was torn in half, a fractured clavicle, a fractured shoulder, a broken neck (fractured C4), a fractured T5 (mid back vertebra), lacerations to his spleen and kidney, a lot of internal bruising, a bruised spinal cord, and a head injury from blunt impact. His minor injury was the road rash on his side and his belt buckle cut him up a bit. I was so thankful he didn't have a severed spinal cord injury which is what leaves people paralyzed. During Michael's accident he rolled, from what I have been told, the pickup rolled 3 to 4 times. Michael was thrown around inside a bit, but before the final roll he was ex spelled from the vehicle by going out the drivers door. We believe it is a blessing he flew out. He probably won't be with us if he wasn't.
When my Mom and I arrived in Bismarck Michael was going to surgery. They were putting a plate in his broken arm and going to "clean him up and stitch him up" . He had dirt and grass inside some of his wounds. The Dr. also had him in a induced coma. They wanted him to hold perfectly still so the lacerations on the kidney and spleen would heal. Not fun to see someone you love so much in a coma! Michael spent the weekend in the ICU and then moved into a different area of the hospital. I headed back to Rapid City to take care of the my Joe and my youngest brother Darren. My Mom stayed with Michael 3 weeks. Michael is doing incredible right now........I know what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving! It was a long almost 2 months for him. He was just able to get out of bed and walk last week. I cannot believe how fast he has healed up! I am so thankful! Michael still has quite a bit of rehab to do. He had a head injury, and his short term memory is a little shaky. He also has some memory loss, but the Dr. said sometimes it can take 6 months up to a year to get that back. The memory loss is minor like this past summer and the month of October, but everyday he gets stronger and better. He came to Rapid on Monday to began inpatient therapy. He looks great!
Of course everyone knows why Michael was in his terrible accident - all I have to say about that is yes, it's ultimately his doings, but if anyone reading this right now has NOT drank and drove or let a friend drive after they probably shouldn't be please shoot me an email for being a bitch and judge away at him. I am pretty confident to say that almost all of us reading this probably have done it at least one time. And for those of us that have.......be grateful and feel lucky. Because we are! I have done it more times than I care to admit. I AM LUCKY! And so are you......
Megan our sister, she is a HERO and she saved his life....I have heard people say, "why didn't she take his keys" - "why did she let him drive"? Well when someone tells you they are going to stay with you - why wouldn't you believe them? What people should be saying is, "WOW - Megan randomly got up in the middle of the night to check up on him!" I have never done that for anyone.......that I recall anyways.
I think we are all responsible for ourselves as adults. At least that is how I was raised to be responsible for myself at some point in time. Our actions determine our futures or our consequences. We made our decision about our actions. No one does it for us.
So there you have it my two sense............in case anyone cares.
The other sad event of October was 10/29/11. That was the day baby Robert became an angel. I shouldn't be sad that my son was picked to be an angel, but I am selfish and wanted to spend my life being his Mom. I am his Mom, but you know what I mean. That will always be a rough day. I need to think of something awesome to do every year on that day in his memory. Any suggestions? Let me know I would love to hear them! He must of been watching over his Uncle Michael on October 7th!
Robert and I 10/28/2009 - First and only time I held him
RIP Baby Robert we miss you!
In my previous posts I talked of the the visit from Raymond's parents and little Joe's second birthday....very fun and very happy, but unfortunately we had some sadness as well.
The night of October 7th, my little brother Michael Bug was in a terrible auto accident. I got a phone call at about 2:30am while my sister and her boyfriend were standing at his side waiting for the ambulance. I felt like I couldn't breath - I was so worried... so anxious... so upset. Worrying about something you know is terrible but you do not yet know how terrible - that is the worst feeling! Michael was ambulanced to a nearby hospital. They stabilized him and life flighted him to Bismarck, ND. He was alive and we were grateful and it was a miracle, but we were scared - scared to learn of his injuries. All day on the 8th the Dr's were checking Michael and finding all his injuries so they could begin treatment. The day was spent with constant news.....some good and some bad.
Michael had a lot of injuries - scary ones. He had broken ribs, a fractured hip, a broken arm, a muscle on his broken arm was torn in half, a fractured clavicle, a fractured shoulder, a broken neck (fractured C4), a fractured T5 (mid back vertebra), lacerations to his spleen and kidney, a lot of internal bruising, a bruised spinal cord, and a head injury from blunt impact. His minor injury was the road rash on his side and his belt buckle cut him up a bit. I was so thankful he didn't have a severed spinal cord injury which is what leaves people paralyzed. During Michael's accident he rolled, from what I have been told, the pickup rolled 3 to 4 times. Michael was thrown around inside a bit, but before the final roll he was ex spelled from the vehicle by going out the drivers door. We believe it is a blessing he flew out. He probably won't be with us if he wasn't.
When my Mom and I arrived in Bismarck Michael was going to surgery. They were putting a plate in his broken arm and going to "clean him up and stitch him up" . He had dirt and grass inside some of his wounds. The Dr. also had him in a induced coma. They wanted him to hold perfectly still so the lacerations on the kidney and spleen would heal. Not fun to see someone you love so much in a coma! Michael spent the weekend in the ICU and then moved into a different area of the hospital. I headed back to Rapid City to take care of the my Joe and my youngest brother Darren. My Mom stayed with Michael 3 weeks. Michael is doing incredible right now........I know what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving! It was a long almost 2 months for him. He was just able to get out of bed and walk last week. I cannot believe how fast he has healed up! I am so thankful! Michael still has quite a bit of rehab to do. He had a head injury, and his short term memory is a little shaky. He also has some memory loss, but the Dr. said sometimes it can take 6 months up to a year to get that back. The memory loss is minor like this past summer and the month of October, but everyday he gets stronger and better. He came to Rapid on Monday to began inpatient therapy. He looks great!
Of course everyone knows why Michael was in his terrible accident - all I have to say about that is yes, it's ultimately his doings, but if anyone reading this right now has NOT drank and drove or let a friend drive after they probably shouldn't be please shoot me an email for being a bitch and judge away at him. I am pretty confident to say that almost all of us reading this probably have done it at least one time. And for those of us that have.......be grateful and feel lucky. Because we are! I have done it more times than I care to admit. I AM LUCKY! And so are you......
Megan our sister, she is a HERO and she saved his life....I have heard people say, "why didn't she take his keys" - "why did she let him drive"? Well when someone tells you they are going to stay with you - why wouldn't you believe them? What people should be saying is, "WOW - Megan randomly got up in the middle of the night to check up on him!" I have never done that for anyone.......that I recall anyways.
I think we are all responsible for ourselves as adults. At least that is how I was raised to be responsible for myself at some point in time. Our actions determine our futures or our consequences. We made our decision about our actions. No one does it for us.
So there you have it my two sense............in case anyone cares.
The other sad event of October was 10/29/11. That was the day baby Robert became an angel. I shouldn't be sad that my son was picked to be an angel, but I am selfish and wanted to spend my life being his Mom. I am his Mom, but you know what I mean. That will always be a rough day. I need to think of something awesome to do every year on that day in his memory. Any suggestions? Let me know I would love to hear them! He must of been watching over his Uncle Michael on October 7th!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
It's Official
So I have one more blog piece about October 2011 I want to do - then I will feel "caught" up with our events so to speak.
I just have such excitement about an upcoming event I wanted to do a post on that first.
This past summer Raymond and I decided we wanted to get married. It wasn't some super romantic proposal or anything like that. In fact, we always felt that things were perfect the way they are and marriage wasn't necessary. What the hell is going to change other than my last name and the way we file taxes? We know we will be together forever. Due to certain summer events, which I will not go into detail of since I don't want to deal with the possible wrath of evilness, Raymond and I decided that we wanted to be married. We wanted it to complete our family and make it official. Sometimes life's challenges make you closer to the people you love. Raymond and I have had more than enough challenges to make us closer!
Raymond wasn't thinking we would get married anytime soon but eventually. Well....... I got so excited about the idea of being his wife I sort of jumped the gun and wanted to do it next summer. Even though we do not have a ring yet! Due to my hastiness Raymond is currently working on that.
We wanted simple and to enjoy the company of family and friends, so we are going to get married right in our backyard! After the ceremony we are going to have food and drinks for the rest of the night. Yesterday I contacted the minister and he marked us down on the calendar for July 28th, 2012 sometime in the late afternoon. So I guess that makes it official................. :)
I just have such excitement about an upcoming event I wanted to do a post on that first.
This past summer Raymond and I decided we wanted to get married. It wasn't some super romantic proposal or anything like that. In fact, we always felt that things were perfect the way they are and marriage wasn't necessary. What the hell is going to change other than my last name and the way we file taxes? We know we will be together forever. Due to certain summer events, which I will not go into detail of since I don't want to deal with the possible wrath of evilness, Raymond and I decided that we wanted to be married. We wanted it to complete our family and make it official. Sometimes life's challenges make you closer to the people you love. Raymond and I have had more than enough challenges to make us closer!
Raymond wasn't thinking we would get married anytime soon but eventually. Well....... I got so excited about the idea of being his wife I sort of jumped the gun and wanted to do it next summer. Even though we do not have a ring yet! Due to my hastiness Raymond is currently working on that.
We wanted simple and to enjoy the company of family and friends, so we are going to get married right in our backyard! After the ceremony we are going to have food and drinks for the rest of the night. Yesterday I contacted the minister and he marked us down on the calendar for July 28th, 2012 sometime in the late afternoon. So I guess that makes it official................. :)
Saturday, November 19, 2011
The First 2 Years
I wanted to do a post with pictures of Joe from the day of his birth to today because well...........it is just so amazing to me!
Joe Michael Brunson entered the world on 10/17/09 at 11:32am at 1lb 15oz and 14 inches long. He came to us at 26 weeks and 1 day gestation.
Joe about 3 weeks old - extabated and on high flow oxygen. A huge accomplishment!
Snuggles with Daddy - only about 3 weeks old
Joe in his isolette - 11/2009
Joe 3lb early December 2009
Joe 1/2010
First week home - mid Feb. 2010
June 2010
First Birthday :)
January 2011
March 2011
Early April 2011
???? I don't know when this one was but CUTE
Early July 2011
Early September 2011
2 years old!!! October 17th, 2011
This is a month late - as I wanted to do it on his birthday. Oh well! I am always late :) Isn't Joe amazing! He is such a miracle.........I love him so much! He is sitting next to me right now eating noodles, looking at that first picture of him to right now with food all over his face and everywhere talking jibberish -WOW. I am so blessed!
Joe LOVED the swing at the NICU - his nurse aunties and uncle even brought their Ipods so he could jam and swing at the same time! January 2010
Oxygen gone :) 1/31/10
Home Home Home - 115 days in the NICU
This is a month late - as I wanted to do it on his birthday. Oh well! I am always late :) Isn't Joe amazing! He is such a miracle.........I love him so much! He is sitting next to me right now eating noodles, looking at that first picture of him to right now with food all over his face and everywhere talking jibberish -WOW. I am so blessed!
Monday, November 14, 2011
A Special Visit - Special Birthday
The rest of our summer was pretty boring. Other than the house updates and our trip to Arkansas not much happened. I guess in August I spent the week as a waitress over the Sturgis Rally. Which was quite interesting! Nine days of long 12+ hours on my feet and great money! Not only that, but I got to meet some very cool people. I really enjoyed it. A change of pace from my day job that is for sure!
A lot of events occurred in October. Some sad and some wonderful. I will start with the wonderful first! Raymond's parents made the long trip from Arkansas to South Dakota for a visit. And a very very special precious boy turned 2 years old. Bet you can guess who that was!
Raymond's parents got to town on 10/7/11 and stayed until 10/10/11. It was so fun to see them. This was the first time Raymond's Dad (Robert) came and the second time his Mom (Judy) was here. I was excited to show Mom Judy all the changes we made to the house since her last visit. I think Raymond was excited to show Dad Robert the house and yard. Especially all his accomplishments in the yard. Raymond is very proud of the yard! Which he should be! Dad Robert has a beautiful rose garden in Arkansas........and is a rose garden expert to say the least. When Raymond was landscaping the flower bed area this summer he wanted to plant a rose bush to be like his Dad I think. Raymond was nervous about the rose bush dying - and being a rose gardener failure.....haha! Ironically, that is one of the only plants in the flower bed that lived. Not only did it live, but it was the only one that grew and ended the summer looking better than when it started :) The other plants that lived, well, they didn't look as nice as they did first planted. They were hanging on by a thread. We hope they come back next year....... That rose bush stood tall and proud though! It must be a natural Brunson rose bush green thumb thing? Ha!
Raymond's parents got us a meat smoker for a gift (thank you - we love it). Raymond was so so so excited! In fact, he is still excited and I eat smoked meat every single weekend. Ribs, Pork, Chicken, etc. Raymond is obsessed with trumping his last creation. Now he is planning our Thanksgiving turkey. Apparently this is going to be a 3 day $100 deal. I hope it's the greatest turkey I've ever ate.
Otherwise, we just did a lot of eating and visiting. Which is always wonderful!
On October 17th at 11:32am central time my amazing baby boy turned 2 yrs old! I can't believe it has been 2 yrs already! Because of a family emergency I wasn't able to have his elmo birthday party, but next year for sure! Lucky for me and Joe, his daycare lady threw him a awesome birthday party and made him a cake that looked like a pumpkin :) She said he ate tons and all the kids had fun.
I think back to that day 2 yrs ago........I cannot believe all Joe has overcome......and he does it with a smile on his face. He is amazing, truly, and he doesn't even realize it. I look up to my Joe - despite all the obstacles in front of him, he has fought through them with a smile! Joe has proved to me what life is all about. What is important......what isn't. He has forever changed me in such a good way. He is the first time I have experienced what it means to love someone so much it hurts. Raymond and I talk all the time about how Joe has changed us, made us better people, and that God gave us these babies for a reason. A very special one. Each day we discover another reason why he did. It's like pieces of a puzzle - a piece falls into place each day, week, month, year.......we slowly start to understand. Not only did it make us love our children and appreciate everything we do have - it made us appreciate and love each other. We are so close and survived the worst. We know we can make it through anything now.........
So happy belated birthday to my little Joe.........I look forward to each year we get to celebrate such a special boys life!
A lot of events occurred in October. Some sad and some wonderful. I will start with the wonderful first! Raymond's parents made the long trip from Arkansas to South Dakota for a visit. And a very very special precious boy turned 2 years old. Bet you can guess who that was!
Raymond's parents got to town on 10/7/11 and stayed until 10/10/11. It was so fun to see them. This was the first time Raymond's Dad (Robert) came and the second time his Mom (Judy) was here. I was excited to show Mom Judy all the changes we made to the house since her last visit. I think Raymond was excited to show Dad Robert the house and yard. Especially all his accomplishments in the yard. Raymond is very proud of the yard! Which he should be! Dad Robert has a beautiful rose garden in Arkansas........and is a rose garden expert to say the least. When Raymond was landscaping the flower bed area this summer he wanted to plant a rose bush to be like his Dad I think. Raymond was nervous about the rose bush dying - and being a rose gardener failure.....haha! Ironically, that is one of the only plants in the flower bed that lived. Not only did it live, but it was the only one that grew and ended the summer looking better than when it started :) The other plants that lived, well, they didn't look as nice as they did first planted. They were hanging on by a thread. We hope they come back next year....... That rose bush stood tall and proud though! It must be a natural Brunson rose bush green thumb thing? Ha!
Raymond's parents got us a meat smoker for a gift (thank you - we love it). Raymond was so so so excited! In fact, he is still excited and I eat smoked meat every single weekend. Ribs, Pork, Chicken, etc. Raymond is obsessed with trumping his last creation. Now he is planning our Thanksgiving turkey. Apparently this is going to be a 3 day $100 deal. I hope it's the greatest turkey I've ever ate.
Otherwise, we just did a lot of eating and visiting. Which is always wonderful!
On October 17th at 11:32am central time my amazing baby boy turned 2 yrs old! I can't believe it has been 2 yrs already! Because of a family emergency I wasn't able to have his elmo birthday party, but next year for sure! Lucky for me and Joe, his daycare lady threw him a awesome birthday party and made him a cake that looked like a pumpkin :) She said he ate tons and all the kids had fun.
I think back to that day 2 yrs ago........I cannot believe all Joe has overcome......and he does it with a smile on his face. He is amazing, truly, and he doesn't even realize it. I look up to my Joe - despite all the obstacles in front of him, he has fought through them with a smile! Joe has proved to me what life is all about. What is important......what isn't. He has forever changed me in such a good way. He is the first time I have experienced what it means to love someone so much it hurts. Raymond and I talk all the time about how Joe has changed us, made us better people, and that God gave us these babies for a reason. A very special one. Each day we discover another reason why he did. It's like pieces of a puzzle - a piece falls into place each day, week, month, year.......we slowly start to understand. Not only did it make us love our children and appreciate everything we do have - it made us appreciate and love each other. We are so close and survived the worst. We know we can make it through anything now.........
So happy belated birthday to my little Joe.........I look forward to each year we get to celebrate such a special boys life!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The House
This summer Raymond and I spent a lot of time on our house. This was the first warm weather/summer since we moved here and we both had so many ideas flowing through our minds. We also both have our favorite places to execute our ideas - Raymond prefers the outside and I prefer the inside! I was looking at pictures of when we first moved into the house to now. I cannot believe the difference!
Raymond and I finally finished the kids playroom. Raymond started that project the day we moved into this house on 11/22/10 and we literally finished it like 2 months ago. It was a lot of work to sheet rock, lay the flooring, put up the trim, and paint. Raymond starts a lot of projects and bounces back and fourth between them. He is so excited about all his ideas he can't stand himself so he gets many going at once :) We still have a piece of furniture that Raymond has been working on for the playroom, but other than that it's as good as done! I love it! No more tripping on toys :) At least not 24/7.......
For my birthday we decided to paint the living room and the fireplace. It completely changed the whole room! We also found some super cheap paint - manager special stuff that wasn't the correct tint or something? I went ahead and painted the hallway this strange brown color - and I loved the results! We are also slowly but surely getting all the interior trim painted white. I learned that painting trim white sucks! Worth it in the end though!
Raymond has worked his butt off in the yard! I am so impressed with the results. I could kick myself for not taking before and after pictures of all his hard work! He has cut trees down like crazy! We had a stump removal service come into the yard and clean up the stumps - which also gave us a ton of mulch. The best part is the flowerbed area he landscaped. If we didn't have 2 stupid dogs that ruin everything it was beautiful! He cut down a big crazy tree and dug up the ground, planted a ton of beautiful perennials, laid mulch, inserted brick around it, and put a cute black cast rod iron fence in front. It looks so clean and nice. I just hope the flowers come back next summer - we had trouble with Juicy and Syd digging them up or laying on top of them.
Right now Raymond is working on our basement. He is making our master bedroom down there, this includes building me a huge closet! He is sanding the paint off the concrete floor and plans on staining it. Raymond's sister and brother-in-law did this in their house and it looks amazing! Plus if it floods no worries as far as the floor goes. I am preparing to paint my kitchen. I am still not 100% on the paint colors. I just know it will be a green of some sort with a brown. I can't wait to get it started!
Playroom
Fireplace Before
Fireplace After
Livingroom Before ~Note the cute baby that thinks I am taking a pic of him and not the wall~
Livingroom After
Raymond and I finally finished the kids playroom. Raymond started that project the day we moved into this house on 11/22/10 and we literally finished it like 2 months ago. It was a lot of work to sheet rock, lay the flooring, put up the trim, and paint. Raymond starts a lot of projects and bounces back and fourth between them. He is so excited about all his ideas he can't stand himself so he gets many going at once :) We still have a piece of furniture that Raymond has been working on for the playroom, but other than that it's as good as done! I love it! No more tripping on toys :) At least not 24/7.......
For my birthday we decided to paint the living room and the fireplace. It completely changed the whole room! We also found some super cheap paint - manager special stuff that wasn't the correct tint or something? I went ahead and painted the hallway this strange brown color - and I loved the results! We are also slowly but surely getting all the interior trim painted white. I learned that painting trim white sucks! Worth it in the end though!
Raymond has worked his butt off in the yard! I am so impressed with the results. I could kick myself for not taking before and after pictures of all his hard work! He has cut trees down like crazy! We had a stump removal service come into the yard and clean up the stumps - which also gave us a ton of mulch. The best part is the flowerbed area he landscaped. If we didn't have 2 stupid dogs that ruin everything it was beautiful! He cut down a big crazy tree and dug up the ground, planted a ton of beautiful perennials, laid mulch, inserted brick around it, and put a cute black cast rod iron fence in front. It looks so clean and nice. I just hope the flowers come back next summer - we had trouble with Juicy and Syd digging them up or laying on top of them.
Right now Raymond is working on our basement. He is making our master bedroom down there, this includes building me a huge closet! He is sanding the paint off the concrete floor and plans on staining it. Raymond's sister and brother-in-law did this in their house and it looks amazing! Plus if it floods no worries as far as the floor goes. I am preparing to paint my kitchen. I am still not 100% on the paint colors. I just know it will be a green of some sort with a brown. I can't wait to get it started!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Arkansas
So...........our much needed family vacation sort of kicked off the summer. Like I said previously we headed down to Arkansas to visit Raymond's side of the family.
We first arrived in Ozark, AR where Raymond's parent live. I got to meet a ton of family there! It was so nice to put a face with a name. I must admit I was nervous to meet everyone because crazy as it sounds it was the first time I was meeting all of them except Raymond's Mom, Aunt Susan, and his sister Norrita. I wanted them all to like me okay. I think they did :) I know I sure loved everyone I met during the trip!
We did lots of fun things. We started it out going to Raymond's brother Joe ( yes that is who little Joe is named after) and his wife Brittany's house to play games. It was really really fun! I even got to make Raymond milk an imaginary cow and pretend he was bobbing for apples - if you can imagine such a thing. I think I scared Raymond when I grabbed him violently by the neck and kept shoving his head downward and back up so my team would guess what I was trying to make him do. They were able to figure it out so Raymond must be a good prop. Ha ha!
Sunday we went to Grandpa Raymond ( yes this is who Raymond is named after - you may start to notice a pattern with names) and Grandma Mavis's house for dinner after church. They had a fish fry and it was awesome - catfish I believe is what we had. Anything deep fried is wonderful to me. There I was able to meet lots of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.
Monday I did something unspeakable to me..............I went canoeing in dirty water that has bugs and stuff..........and I liked it. I wasn't expecting that! I am one of those girls that doesn't go anywhere without a lot of makeup on and I don't like to get dirty. Raymond wasn't so sure about taking me, but he was very excited to go! He thought I would whine and complain the whole time. We had to be canoe partners too............this also made me nervous since we cannot even hardly be card partners without arguing - canoeing seems like it needs to be more "partnerish" than card playing if that makes any sense at all. It went awesome! We had a great partnership and I wouldn't pick anyone else to go canoeing with! It was beautiful too! The weather was perfect! Great friends and family were with! I loved it. We have to go again!
We had a BBQ that night at Raymond's parents house with family. Lots of good food and good visiting! Raymond's Dad Robert (yes that is who baby Robert was named after) made smoked ribs. I think Raymond ate half of them himself. We also had a BBQ with relatives on Robert's side of the family and I was able to meet and enjoy more family!
After Ozark we went to Memphis, TN or Marion, AR (just across the bridge) to stay with Norrita and her family. We had a great time there too. Us adults went out for a night - we ate a Rendezvous, went on Beale Street, and stopped in a few bars and listened to music. It was a good time. We also took the kids to the Memphis Zoo. Norrita, Joe, and I went shopping for a day. Joe is not a fun shopping partner :) We managed though. It was fun but the day went by very very fast. We ended the day eating at Paula Deen's buffet which excited me on a ridiculous level actually. I even took a picture with a cardboard cut out of Paula :) We had a night at Norrita's in-laws grilling out - eating some more great food which included homemade chocolate ice-cream. That was our last night there...........the next day Norrita, her mother-in-law Nancy, Riley, and I went out and had some girls only time. We went to a bunch of cute shops and bought stuff we didn't need but had to have. It was a fun way to end a great vacation!
***I wanted to post pics of the trip, but recently our computer crashed and when we got it back they had lost all our data :( but I have quite a few on facebook!***
We first arrived in Ozark, AR where Raymond's parent live. I got to meet a ton of family there! It was so nice to put a face with a name. I must admit I was nervous to meet everyone because crazy as it sounds it was the first time I was meeting all of them except Raymond's Mom, Aunt Susan, and his sister Norrita. I wanted them all to like me okay. I think they did :) I know I sure loved everyone I met during the trip!
We did lots of fun things. We started it out going to Raymond's brother Joe ( yes that is who little Joe is named after) and his wife Brittany's house to play games. It was really really fun! I even got to make Raymond milk an imaginary cow and pretend he was bobbing for apples - if you can imagine such a thing. I think I scared Raymond when I grabbed him violently by the neck and kept shoving his head downward and back up so my team would guess what I was trying to make him do. They were able to figure it out so Raymond must be a good prop. Ha ha!
Sunday we went to Grandpa Raymond ( yes this is who Raymond is named after - you may start to notice a pattern with names) and Grandma Mavis's house for dinner after church. They had a fish fry and it was awesome - catfish I believe is what we had. Anything deep fried is wonderful to me. There I was able to meet lots of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.
Monday I did something unspeakable to me..............I went canoeing in dirty water that has bugs and stuff..........and I liked it. I wasn't expecting that! I am one of those girls that doesn't go anywhere without a lot of makeup on and I don't like to get dirty. Raymond wasn't so sure about taking me, but he was very excited to go! He thought I would whine and complain the whole time. We had to be canoe partners too............this also made me nervous since we cannot even hardly be card partners without arguing - canoeing seems like it needs to be more "partnerish" than card playing if that makes any sense at all. It went awesome! We had a great partnership and I wouldn't pick anyone else to go canoeing with! It was beautiful too! The weather was perfect! Great friends and family were with! I loved it. We have to go again!
We had a BBQ that night at Raymond's parents house with family. Lots of good food and good visiting! Raymond's Dad Robert (yes that is who baby Robert was named after) made smoked ribs. I think Raymond ate half of them himself. We also had a BBQ with relatives on Robert's side of the family and I was able to meet and enjoy more family!
After Ozark we went to Memphis, TN or Marion, AR (just across the bridge) to stay with Norrita and her family. We had a great time there too. Us adults went out for a night - we ate a Rendezvous, went on Beale Street, and stopped in a few bars and listened to music. It was a good time. We also took the kids to the Memphis Zoo. Norrita, Joe, and I went shopping for a day. Joe is not a fun shopping partner :) We managed though. It was fun but the day went by very very fast. We ended the day eating at Paula Deen's buffet which excited me on a ridiculous level actually. I even took a picture with a cardboard cut out of Paula :) We had a night at Norrita's in-laws grilling out - eating some more great food which included homemade chocolate ice-cream. That was our last night there...........the next day Norrita, her mother-in-law Nancy, Riley, and I went out and had some girls only time. We went to a bunch of cute shops and bought stuff we didn't need but had to have. It was a fun way to end a great vacation!
***I wanted to post pics of the trip, but recently our computer crashed and when we got it back they had lost all our data :( but I have quite a few on facebook!***
Jenn + Blogging = Failing
Okay - I suck at blogging! I have said this several times throughout the blogging business so I won't even waste my time telling everyone how busy I have been and how sorry I am! Haha! You all know and understand I am sure. I have thought of blogging many times the past few months, but got so behind I didn't really know where to start - so here goes nothing.
This summer was fast but fun.............this week I will devote a night to each major event of the summer to catch up. If anyones cares I guess :) I will start with our vacation to Arkansas which I promised a very....very....long time ago!
This summer was fast but fun.............this week I will devote a night to each major event of the summer to catch up. If anyones cares I guess :) I will start with our vacation to Arkansas which I promised a very....very....long time ago!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
And We're Back!
So we just returned home from our family vacation to Arkansas.....
We left on the afternoon of June 17th and returned the evening of June 26th. It was a great time and it went by way too quickly! During the drive there Raymond and I were so anxious to get to Ozark and see our loved ones we drove straight through.....yes that's right.....19 hours only stopping for gas and caffeine. We didn't want to waste a minute longer driving when we could be there instead. The boys did remarkable on the way there. They both slept through the night and Blake was very well behaved when they were awake. Joe... he is another story. I don't know what happened to my sweet Joe.....he is still sweet, adorable, and totally lovable, but I feel the terrible 2's approaching us. He was fine if you were looking at him and talking to him, but the second that boy feels ignored he lets you know about it. Joe can go from total devastation...in tears barely able to breath, to laughing and chatting with you in a matter of seconds. I think he knows how to work it? He is so irresistible though :)
The vacation there was wonderful! Lots of family, visiting, fun, food (the scale increased 7lbs to prove this), site seeing (at least for myself this small town ND girl has never been anywhere), and a little shopping of course.
The drive home did NOT goes as smoothly. We left Memphis around 2:30pm and headed back with the intent of the boys sleeping through the night, so we could drive home like the drive there went. The boys did fall asleep, but much later then the last trip. Because of all the flooding around Omaha, NE we detoured on our trip to Arkansas which caused about an extra 2 hours of driving. We went to Albert Lea, MN got on interstate 35 drove through Des Moines, IA and headed to Kansas City, MO. The typical route is to go to Sioux Falls, SD and get on interstate 29 drive through Sioux City, IA and Omaha, NE to Kansas City, MO. The signs said 35 is a better way because 29 was closed off in some parts. It went very slick on the way there. For some ridiculous reason on the way home when we arrived in Kansas City, MO Raymond thought it would be better to stay on interstate 29 and use their detours.......I should of went with my womanly instincts and stopped him from that stupid decision, but for the fear of irritating him and still having 11 hours in the car together I said, "okay hun". We arrived to the areas where the interstate was closed off.....some locals told us to get on a highway along the side of the interstate to drive around it and to get back on 29 when the closed off areas ended. So it's like 1am and we get out the trusty map and I get on this highway 59 to head north. Pretty sure I ended up driving backwards (south) to the town we had already drove through :) Lucky for us it was only like a 15 minute mistake. At that point we decided we better just call it a night and get a hotel room.
It was morning and off we went with still about 10 hours to go and we wanted to make good time, so we could regroup at home a few hours before going back to real life on Monday. It was my turn to do some driving, so we headed north on this little IA hwy 59. I was driving along, Raymond instructed me just to stay on the highway and drive north while he napped. I did this or so I thought I was. Suddenly, I ended up in a town called Atlantic, IA hmmm.... I don't remember Raymond mentioning Atlantic??......and then I noticed the hwy was not 59, but 71? Oh no! I pulled over and looked at the map, and yes I drove about an hour the wrong way. Raymond was still sleeping, so I nervously woke him to tell him my mistake, he was not impressed with me as we are all ready to get home and this obviously put a delay in the trip. BUT.............. because he loves me sooo sooo much, he mumbled a few things under his breath so I couldn't hear him and we revisited the map. While we were looking at the map an Officer pulled up behind us to make sure everything was okay.......he showed us where we were at on the map and pointed us in the right direction. Thank you Officer!!! Off we went, with basically an entire morning of driving wasted due to my error. I was teased by Raymond for a good hour about this.......of course in my defense of making this his fault and not mine....... I explained to him how this was his fault for not taking interstate 35 in Kansas City to began with. I had to blame this on him some how! He did not buy it. Poor Raymond, but bless his heart for being so gracious with me about my ditzness. He has to deal with this often people.
Well we made it home, a few bumps along the way, but we got here! I really enjoyed the drive...honestly I'm not being sarcastic, it was long, but so wonderful to spend all that quality time with my babies and my hunny. Raymond and I haven't had a chance to sit down and visit like that in forever and it made me appreciate my life again! I love our conversations.....joking and laughing, talking about our big ideas for the future, and our serious conversations. He is my bestest friend :) I will post another blog about our actual vacation part and get some pictures up later this week! Lots to share with you guys :)
Also, lets keep in our prayers all the people effected by the floods and tornadoes. During this trip I seen a lot of damage from both these mother nature nightmares. It was so devasting to see......but it made me realize how lucky I am to have a roof over my head. A lot of families right now in our country don't! Seeing it up close and in real life is much different than watching it on the news and seeing it in the newspapers. Prayers their way!!!!
We left on the afternoon of June 17th and returned the evening of June 26th. It was a great time and it went by way too quickly! During the drive there Raymond and I were so anxious to get to Ozark and see our loved ones we drove straight through.....yes that's right.....19 hours only stopping for gas and caffeine. We didn't want to waste a minute longer driving when we could be there instead. The boys did remarkable on the way there. They both slept through the night and Blake was very well behaved when they were awake. Joe... he is another story. I don't know what happened to my sweet Joe.....he is still sweet, adorable, and totally lovable, but I feel the terrible 2's approaching us. He was fine if you were looking at him and talking to him, but the second that boy feels ignored he lets you know about it. Joe can go from total devastation...in tears barely able to breath, to laughing and chatting with you in a matter of seconds. I think he knows how to work it? He is so irresistible though :)
The vacation there was wonderful! Lots of family, visiting, fun, food (the scale increased 7lbs to prove this), site seeing (at least for myself this small town ND girl has never been anywhere), and a little shopping of course.
The drive home did NOT goes as smoothly. We left Memphis around 2:30pm and headed back with the intent of the boys sleeping through the night, so we could drive home like the drive there went. The boys did fall asleep, but much later then the last trip. Because of all the flooding around Omaha, NE we detoured on our trip to Arkansas which caused about an extra 2 hours of driving. We went to Albert Lea, MN got on interstate 35 drove through Des Moines, IA and headed to Kansas City, MO. The typical route is to go to Sioux Falls, SD and get on interstate 29 drive through Sioux City, IA and Omaha, NE to Kansas City, MO. The signs said 35 is a better way because 29 was closed off in some parts. It went very slick on the way there. For some ridiculous reason on the way home when we arrived in Kansas City, MO Raymond thought it would be better to stay on interstate 29 and use their detours.......I should of went with my womanly instincts and stopped him from that stupid decision, but for the fear of irritating him and still having 11 hours in the car together I said, "okay hun". We arrived to the areas where the interstate was closed off.....some locals told us to get on a highway along the side of the interstate to drive around it and to get back on 29 when the closed off areas ended. So it's like 1am and we get out the trusty map and I get on this highway 59 to head north. Pretty sure I ended up driving backwards (south) to the town we had already drove through :) Lucky for us it was only like a 15 minute mistake. At that point we decided we better just call it a night and get a hotel room.
It was morning and off we went with still about 10 hours to go and we wanted to make good time, so we could regroup at home a few hours before going back to real life on Monday. It was my turn to do some driving, so we headed north on this little IA hwy 59. I was driving along, Raymond instructed me just to stay on the highway and drive north while he napped. I did this or so I thought I was. Suddenly, I ended up in a town called Atlantic, IA hmmm.... I don't remember Raymond mentioning Atlantic??......and then I noticed the hwy was not 59, but 71? Oh no! I pulled over and looked at the map, and yes I drove about an hour the wrong way. Raymond was still sleeping, so I nervously woke him to tell him my mistake, he was not impressed with me as we are all ready to get home and this obviously put a delay in the trip. BUT.............. because he loves me sooo sooo much, he mumbled a few things under his breath so I couldn't hear him and we revisited the map. While we were looking at the map an Officer pulled up behind us to make sure everything was okay.......he showed us where we were at on the map and pointed us in the right direction. Thank you Officer!!! Off we went, with basically an entire morning of driving wasted due to my error. I was teased by Raymond for a good hour about this.......of course in my defense of making this his fault and not mine....... I explained to him how this was his fault for not taking interstate 35 in Kansas City to began with. I had to blame this on him some how! He did not buy it. Poor Raymond, but bless his heart for being so gracious with me about my ditzness. He has to deal with this often people.
Well we made it home, a few bumps along the way, but we got here! I really enjoyed the drive...honestly I'm not being sarcastic, it was long, but so wonderful to spend all that quality time with my babies and my hunny. Raymond and I haven't had a chance to sit down and visit like that in forever and it made me appreciate my life again! I love our conversations.....joking and laughing, talking about our big ideas for the future, and our serious conversations. He is my bestest friend :) I will post another blog about our actual vacation part and get some pictures up later this week! Lots to share with you guys :)
Also, lets keep in our prayers all the people effected by the floods and tornadoes. During this trip I seen a lot of damage from both these mother nature nightmares. It was so devasting to see......but it made me realize how lucky I am to have a roof over my head. A lot of families right now in our country don't! Seeing it up close and in real life is much different than watching it on the news and seeing it in the newspapers. Prayers their way!!!!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Kids Say the Funniest Things Sometimes!
Blake told me the funniest thing the other day and I smile everytime I think back to it, so I must share. Raymond, Blake, and I were sitting on our bed visiting during my lunch break on Friday. Raymond was trying to get him down for a nap and I kind of ruined his efforts.
For no particular reason Blake pointed to his thigh and said to me, "JuJu (that's what he calls me), this is where my brain is." I said, "Your brain is in your thigh?" and he nodded his head yes. I said, "I think you brain is in here (I was pointing to my head)." Blake said to me in a scolding tone, "No it's not JuJu! It is in your leg right here (pointing to his thigh again)!"
The seriousness in his tone and on his face was so priceless.......where do they come up with this stuff? So cute!
For no particular reason Blake pointed to his thigh and said to me, "JuJu (that's what he calls me), this is where my brain is." I said, "Your brain is in your thigh?" and he nodded his head yes. I said, "I think you brain is in here (I was pointing to my head)." Blake said to me in a scolding tone, "No it's not JuJu! It is in your leg right here (pointing to his thigh again)!"
The seriousness in his tone and on his face was so priceless.......where do they come up with this stuff? So cute!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Monitors
One of my close preemie Mom friends and I were having a conversation regarding her son's surgery he had on June 8th. Which was a success :) We ended up getting into a deeper conversation about how scary it is....surgery....vents....monitors.....vitals.......etc. It brings back scary NICU memories :( After this conversation it got me thinking a lot about how crazy it is that an object can have such a huge impact on your emotions, feelings, hopes, and fears. Your relationship with an nonliving organism becomes real and somewhat human. This particular object to me is a monitor.
I know that sounds completely crazy, but there is good reason behind things sometimes. I do not believe my blog followers are ignorant, but I will give a brief low down on what a monitor is for those without a medical background ( Raymond and I's knowledge of this field was forced upon us, so do not feel bad if you don't know what this is!). A monitor, well.....it's shaped like a computer screen or a TV, but it serves sooo much purpose for the medical team. Basically on this screen you can monitor the patients pulse, respiration's (amount of breaths being taken), and O2 sats. O2 sats from what I gathered during the babies NICU stay means the percentage of oxygenated blood in your body (this was always the big one to me). 100% is perfect 1% you are near your end to put it bluntly. I am sure the monitor can do a million other amazing things, but those are the 3 important main reasons for it, at least for myself. They monitor those body's states by attaching what is called "leads" to the patient. Leads are the sticky circular shaped things sticking on the patients chest... like what you see on movies and the thin cords coming from them attaches to a device attached to the monitor and that is how it reads those 3 states in your body. I am sure there is much more intelligent terminology for what I just described, but I am not the lady to give those words to you...haha! For my many many medically intelligent friends out there do not hesitate to correct me if I am wrong about any of the above. You will not offend me at all but enlighten me and the other readers :)
Back to my point........I have a love/hate relationship with monitors. For me they symbolized much more then what your body's systems were doing. When the monitor is "good" and alarms aren't going off like mad that means you are getting better and your loved one gets to go home sooner than later. When the numbers aren't good and the alarms are going off constantly that means your loved one (our babies in my case) are sick and they have to stay in the hospital or they need greater assistance...this brings me to my other hated item, the VENT (that is whole new blog post that I will probably never do because my human relationship with the vent has a lot of not nice things to say!) I remember when I was in the NICU, I stared at the monitor like a complete psycho for hours and hours. I just sat there, rocked my babies, and stared at their monitors. Whatever those monitor were saying when I left determined my feelings for the rest of the day/night. Sometimes when I was holding one of my babies I would see a number get almost or right close to setting the alarm off and I would beg the monitor in my mind to not let it go off......"please baby just breath so it goes back up!"...or..."don't you dare set the alarm off you stupid monitor!" There were several occasions where one of my babies would totally crash (that is horrible by the way)........I was standing there and all of the sudden an alarm goes off and all those number start rapidly dropping....and dropping.....and dropping. You feel like your heart fell to your feet and you quit breathing with each number going lower and before you know it everyone in the room is gathered around my baby trying too, "bring them back". They are bagging or intabating or whatever they can do to get them going! Whenever this would happen in front of me I won't even look at my baby, I would stand there and stare at the monitor begging it in my head to go up..Up..UP. I've seen that monitor have numbers less than double digits or not being read at all and it's so hard ...so scary to see. It symbolize so much to what is important to everyone that loves the patient.
I have also loved the monitor. Those beautiful sats.....97% - 100%!!!! :) Turn the oxygen down and it stays.........98% it barely even changes a number!!!! I could practically skip around just talking about how happy and exciting it makes everyone feel! Woohoo! Good job monitor! It's like hitting the big one on a slot machine! Then you are told if baby can breath without oxygen it will be soon they can go home, or baby is breathing over the vent and sats are good....we can extabate (take the vent tube out and let them breath nasal canula). Those were the happy moments, but I must admit sometimes I stared at the monitor during those times, "don't you dare screw this up monitor!!!" Sometime it listened sometimes it didn't. Regardless, I have been on both sides of the fence with it.
The reality is, it's not the monitor that is causing the numbers it was my babies, but it was just the bizarre relationship I couldn't help but establish. I do not believe I am the only person that has viewed an object in certain circumstances as kind of a "human relationship" or like, if I really think this in my mind maybe it will listen to my thoughts and do what I want it to do. I mean we have all kicked and yelled at a pop machine right? No I wasn't talking to it or cuddling it to make the monitor like me......it was just the way my mind, heart, and feelings wrapped around it.....the monitor of all things. The results on the monitor, well that is up to the patient and of course a much higher power than any of us are!
I know that sounds completely crazy, but there is good reason behind things sometimes. I do not believe my blog followers are ignorant, but I will give a brief low down on what a monitor is for those without a medical background ( Raymond and I's knowledge of this field was forced upon us, so do not feel bad if you don't know what this is!). A monitor, well.....it's shaped like a computer screen or a TV, but it serves sooo much purpose for the medical team. Basically on this screen you can monitor the patients pulse, respiration's (amount of breaths being taken), and O2 sats. O2 sats from what I gathered during the babies NICU stay means the percentage of oxygenated blood in your body (this was always the big one to me). 100% is perfect 1% you are near your end to put it bluntly. I am sure the monitor can do a million other amazing things, but those are the 3 important main reasons for it, at least for myself. They monitor those body's states by attaching what is called "leads" to the patient. Leads are the sticky circular shaped things sticking on the patients chest... like what you see on movies and the thin cords coming from them attaches to a device attached to the monitor and that is how it reads those 3 states in your body. I am sure there is much more intelligent terminology for what I just described, but I am not the lady to give those words to you...haha! For my many many medically intelligent friends out there do not hesitate to correct me if I am wrong about any of the above. You will not offend me at all but enlighten me and the other readers :)
Back to my point........I have a love/hate relationship with monitors. For me they symbolized much more then what your body's systems were doing. When the monitor is "good" and alarms aren't going off like mad that means you are getting better and your loved one gets to go home sooner than later. When the numbers aren't good and the alarms are going off constantly that means your loved one (our babies in my case) are sick and they have to stay in the hospital or they need greater assistance...this brings me to my other hated item, the VENT (that is whole new blog post that I will probably never do because my human relationship with the vent has a lot of not nice things to say!) I remember when I was in the NICU, I stared at the monitor like a complete psycho for hours and hours. I just sat there, rocked my babies, and stared at their monitors. Whatever those monitor were saying when I left determined my feelings for the rest of the day/night. Sometimes when I was holding one of my babies I would see a number get almost or right close to setting the alarm off and I would beg the monitor in my mind to not let it go off......"please baby just breath so it goes back up!"...or..."don't you dare set the alarm off you stupid monitor!" There were several occasions where one of my babies would totally crash (that is horrible by the way)........I was standing there and all of the sudden an alarm goes off and all those number start rapidly dropping....and dropping.....and dropping. You feel like your heart fell to your feet and you quit breathing with each number going lower and before you know it everyone in the room is gathered around my baby trying too, "bring them back". They are bagging or intabating or whatever they can do to get them going! Whenever this would happen in front of me I won't even look at my baby, I would stand there and stare at the monitor begging it in my head to go up..Up..UP. I've seen that monitor have numbers less than double digits or not being read at all and it's so hard ...so scary to see. It symbolize so much to what is important to everyone that loves the patient.
I have also loved the monitor. Those beautiful sats.....97% - 100%!!!! :) Turn the oxygen down and it stays.........98% it barely even changes a number!!!! I could practically skip around just talking about how happy and exciting it makes everyone feel! Woohoo! Good job monitor! It's like hitting the big one on a slot machine! Then you are told if baby can breath without oxygen it will be soon they can go home, or baby is breathing over the vent and sats are good....we can extabate (take the vent tube out and let them breath nasal canula). Those were the happy moments, but I must admit sometimes I stared at the monitor during those times, "don't you dare screw this up monitor!!!" Sometime it listened sometimes it didn't. Regardless, I have been on both sides of the fence with it.
The reality is, it's not the monitor that is causing the numbers it was my babies, but it was just the bizarre relationship I couldn't help but establish. I do not believe I am the only person that has viewed an object in certain circumstances as kind of a "human relationship" or like, if I really think this in my mind maybe it will listen to my thoughts and do what I want it to do. I mean we have all kicked and yelled at a pop machine right? No I wasn't talking to it or cuddling it to make the monitor like me......it was just the way my mind, heart, and feelings wrapped around it.....the monitor of all things. The results on the monitor, well that is up to the patient and of course a much higher power than any of us are!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Busy
Okay, so I am way way over due to blog. So much has happened too!
In April sickness overtook my household for some reason........Poor Raymond injured his lower back, ironically it was at the same time his Dad injured his back too! Fortunately, they both got it fixed and are feeling much much better now. After that little Joe got very very sick. He had an unexplained fever and was throwing up, so of course like the total nut that I am we rushed to the ER. After a lot of tests and a long night in the ER they ruled out his shunt being infected. What a relief! After that Raymond and I realized that we can't overact with him so much. Kids get sick.....that's just the way life goes. So from now on when he acts like he has the "flu" I'm going to wait a few days. If it gets better he is fine....if it stay the same or gets worse it may be his shunt. At that point I will take him in. It's so hard when you've had so many horrible things happen to you children. It's hard for us not to over react with baby Joe! He is so special and important! After Joe's sickness it was my turn I guess. I hurt my back too! It was near my right shoulder blade. It was one of the most painful things that I have ever experienced. I missed 2 days of work and it took 6 chiropractor appointments to get it fixed. I will never forget that in my life! I couldn't even care for Joe, he had to go stay the night with our friends and my Mom had to take him to and from daycare. Plus my poor Mom had to drive me all around because I couldn't even drive! Glad that month is behind us!
May was hectic too. Lots of birthdays, Mother's Day, and graduations. We celebrated a very special birthday party on May 21nd. Blake turned 4 yrs old!!! His real birthday is on May 24th, but we wanted to have a party during the weekend. It was so fun and robot themed! Blake loves robots! He loves vacuums and cleaning too...haha! Some friends and kids came over. He got spoiled with lots of presents and sweets. After Blake's party we got to go to another birthday party for little Jackson. At Jackson's party we got to go swimming and sit in the hot tub :) It was a busy but very fun day for everyone!
So far in June it's been Joe with the busy schedule. Joe was fitted for his leg braces and they should be done on June 10th. These braces will go just below the knee. The braces plastic will wrap around his calf and the Velcro will wrap around the front of his leg. There is a special molding on the feet to help his feet distribute weight evenly on all his pads. This will help him with standing. He also had an eye Dr. appointment. It went very well. The Dr. said he is right on track for his actual age with eye development and vision. The only problem we discovered was on his right side Joe doesn't have peripheral vision. We need to enter his world from the left side Dr. Nixon told us. I wasn't surprised about it since that is his "weak" side and I was starting to notice with toys and feedings. It seemed like he could never see me from that side or he doesn't acknowledge toys or initiating interaction. He will adjust around it and I think he already has to some point.
Joe also got his first real haircut this month, not a surgery shave! He was such a good boy at the salon! He sat nice and still well Zach cut his hair. We decided to go with a mohawk......how cute is a mohawk on a little boy :) I call it his "Joehawk". It helped that someone was flashing pictures of him the entire time Zach was cutting his hair. Joe loves his picture taken. He poses and hams it up the whole time. It was the perfect distraction! The results were cuter than I anticipated.
Now we are all getting ready for our southern vacation! We are leaving June 17th and staying in Arkansas with Raymond's family for a week. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I haven't been on vacation since May 2007. I am ready and deserve one! I am a little nervous about the 17 hour drive with a 4 yr old and a 19 month old, but we will survive. Raymond and the kids got to go last summer, but I stayed behind for training at my new job. The kids have been more places than I have.....haha!
Blake's Robot Cake
Birthday Boy :)
Finished Results!
Side View!
In April sickness overtook my household for some reason........Poor Raymond injured his lower back, ironically it was at the same time his Dad injured his back too! Fortunately, they both got it fixed and are feeling much much better now. After that little Joe got very very sick. He had an unexplained fever and was throwing up, so of course like the total nut that I am we rushed to the ER. After a lot of tests and a long night in the ER they ruled out his shunt being infected. What a relief! After that Raymond and I realized that we can't overact with him so much. Kids get sick.....that's just the way life goes. So from now on when he acts like he has the "flu" I'm going to wait a few days. If it gets better he is fine....if it stay the same or gets worse it may be his shunt. At that point I will take him in. It's so hard when you've had so many horrible things happen to you children. It's hard for us not to over react with baby Joe! He is so special and important! After Joe's sickness it was my turn I guess. I hurt my back too! It was near my right shoulder blade. It was one of the most painful things that I have ever experienced. I missed 2 days of work and it took 6 chiropractor appointments to get it fixed. I will never forget that in my life! I couldn't even care for Joe, he had to go stay the night with our friends and my Mom had to take him to and from daycare. Plus my poor Mom had to drive me all around because I couldn't even drive! Glad that month is behind us!
May was hectic too. Lots of birthdays, Mother's Day, and graduations. We celebrated a very special birthday party on May 21nd. Blake turned 4 yrs old!!! His real birthday is on May 24th, but we wanted to have a party during the weekend. It was so fun and robot themed! Blake loves robots! He loves vacuums and cleaning too...haha! Some friends and kids came over. He got spoiled with lots of presents and sweets. After Blake's party we got to go to another birthday party for little Jackson. At Jackson's party we got to go swimming and sit in the hot tub :) It was a busy but very fun day for everyone!
So far in June it's been Joe with the busy schedule. Joe was fitted for his leg braces and they should be done on June 10th. These braces will go just below the knee. The braces plastic will wrap around his calf and the Velcro will wrap around the front of his leg. There is a special molding on the feet to help his feet distribute weight evenly on all his pads. This will help him with standing. He also had an eye Dr. appointment. It went very well. The Dr. said he is right on track for his actual age with eye development and vision. The only problem we discovered was on his right side Joe doesn't have peripheral vision. We need to enter his world from the left side Dr. Nixon told us. I wasn't surprised about it since that is his "weak" side and I was starting to notice with toys and feedings. It seemed like he could never see me from that side or he doesn't acknowledge toys or initiating interaction. He will adjust around it and I think he already has to some point.
Joe also got his first real haircut this month, not a surgery shave! He was such a good boy at the salon! He sat nice and still well Zach cut his hair. We decided to go with a mohawk......how cute is a mohawk on a little boy :) I call it his "Joehawk". It helped that someone was flashing pictures of him the entire time Zach was cutting his hair. Joe loves his picture taken. He poses and hams it up the whole time. It was the perfect distraction! The results were cuter than I anticipated.
Now we are all getting ready for our southern vacation! We are leaving June 17th and staying in Arkansas with Raymond's family for a week. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I haven't been on vacation since May 2007. I am ready and deserve one! I am a little nervous about the 17 hour drive with a 4 yr old and a 19 month old, but we will survive. Raymond and the kids got to go last summer, but I stayed behind for training at my new job. The kids have been more places than I have.....haha!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Evan's Plunge
Wow..........what a weekend! We only drove 50 miles from home to the small town of Hot Springs, SD, but Joe and I had a blast!
Right now Raymond is working in Hot Spring, SD building a sub. He had to work over the weekend and Joe and I missed him so we decided to go for a weekend get away. I did some research to find out what to do on Saturday while Raymond was working. Turns out there is a lot of stuff in Hot Springs, but what really stuck out to me was Evan's Plunge. It's a indoor pool that uses the "hot spring" to heat it. In the late 1800's early 1900's people used it as a bath house. It was called Evan's Bathhouse back then. Joe has never been swimming, so I decided this would be fun. He loves the tub............so why not a giant one?
We got there Friday night after work and had a BBQ with Raymond and the guys. It was fun to drink some beers and catch up. By 10PM it was bed time since they had an early morning and I wanted an early start myself. The next morning I woke up to a very very flat tire! Fortunately, there was a tire shop to patch it up for me. I small bump in the road for our fun day. Joe and I drove around Hot Springs and checked out the scenery. It's a very cool small town. It has tons of historic buildings and sights to see. Including a mammoth museum...... where they dug up some mammoths back in the day, Evan's plunge, and a museum which wasn't open yet. The scenery there is beautiful too.... I love living in the hills! Joe and I did a little shopping....to the Dollar Store and Pamida...haha! Then it was back to the room for some lunch and naps before the pool. We got ready and headed out. When we arrived they gave Joe a little tube that has a body suit built in it so he could float around. When we got to the pool we went into the baby pool first. He wasn't so sure about it though. He seemed scared. I pulled him around in his tube (since the water went to below my knees), but he still wasn't loving it. I decided to put him in the deep water with me so we could be eye level...maybe this will help Joe relax. That was the magic trick I guess because Joe turned into a little frog man. Screaming in glee and kicking his legs faster than I could keep up with him. It was hysterical! He swam and swam like he was training for the Olympics or something. I couldn't help but think about him in my belly when I was pregnant. I remember he kicked and kicked me all day and all night long. Swimming must of reminded him of that distance great memory he has buried in his subconscious......haha!
Joe swam like mad and than we had to vacate the pool ASAP because his little swimmers was full of presents. He wasn't happy about leaving, but he got over it when we cleaned up his tush and put some warm dry clothes on. We headed back to the room at the same time Daddy was done for the day. We went out for some supper and Joe ate cheesecake. He is getting difficult to feed because when we eat regular meals he spits it out. When we eat desserts he has barely swallowed his food and his mouth is open for another bite. I decided we were having a special day, so he could eat cheesecake for supper. We got back to the room and he was in bed by 7PM. I think he was exhausted for swimming his heart out all afternoon.
Now we are back home and back to normal. I need to do laundry and get ready for the week. Our mini vacation was a much needed one. It made me realize that I need to spend more one on one days with Joe. It's so easy to get wrapped up in "life" go to work, come home, clean house, do laundry, make supper, baths, and before you know it bed. Tomorrow the cycle starts again. We hardly get to just be together and enjoy each other without thinking of all I "should" be doing. I am going make sure one day a week we have a special day........not worrying about chores, the yard, etc. Just throw it all aside for tomorrow and spend our moments together enjoying each other. You don't take with you in your heart how clean your bathroom was on 4/9/11, but I will take with me Joe's first time swimming and our weekend with Dad on 4/9/11.
Joe rocking his tube suit and little swimmer bottoms!
Mom and Joe swimming
Right now Raymond is working in Hot Spring, SD building a sub. He had to work over the weekend and Joe and I missed him so we decided to go for a weekend get away. I did some research to find out what to do on Saturday while Raymond was working. Turns out there is a lot of stuff in Hot Springs, but what really stuck out to me was Evan's Plunge. It's a indoor pool that uses the "hot spring" to heat it. In the late 1800's early 1900's people used it as a bath house. It was called Evan's Bathhouse back then. Joe has never been swimming, so I decided this would be fun. He loves the tub............so why not a giant one?
We got there Friday night after work and had a BBQ with Raymond and the guys. It was fun to drink some beers and catch up. By 10PM it was bed time since they had an early morning and I wanted an early start myself. The next morning I woke up to a very very flat tire! Fortunately, there was a tire shop to patch it up for me. I small bump in the road for our fun day. Joe and I drove around Hot Springs and checked out the scenery. It's a very cool small town. It has tons of historic buildings and sights to see. Including a mammoth museum...... where they dug up some mammoths back in the day, Evan's plunge, and a museum which wasn't open yet. The scenery there is beautiful too.... I love living in the hills! Joe and I did a little shopping....to the Dollar Store and Pamida...haha! Then it was back to the room for some lunch and naps before the pool. We got ready and headed out. When we arrived they gave Joe a little tube that has a body suit built in it so he could float around. When we got to the pool we went into the baby pool first. He wasn't so sure about it though. He seemed scared. I pulled him around in his tube (since the water went to below my knees), but he still wasn't loving it. I decided to put him in the deep water with me so we could be eye level...maybe this will help Joe relax. That was the magic trick I guess because Joe turned into a little frog man. Screaming in glee and kicking his legs faster than I could keep up with him. It was hysterical! He swam and swam like he was training for the Olympics or something. I couldn't help but think about him in my belly when I was pregnant. I remember he kicked and kicked me all day and all night long. Swimming must of reminded him of that distance great memory he has buried in his subconscious......haha!
Joe swam like mad and than we had to vacate the pool ASAP because his little swimmers was full of presents. He wasn't happy about leaving, but he got over it when we cleaned up his tush and put some warm dry clothes on. We headed back to the room at the same time Daddy was done for the day. We went out for some supper and Joe ate cheesecake. He is getting difficult to feed because when we eat regular meals he spits it out. When we eat desserts he has barely swallowed his food and his mouth is open for another bite. I decided we were having a special day, so he could eat cheesecake for supper. We got back to the room and he was in bed by 7PM. I think he was exhausted for swimming his heart out all afternoon.
Now we are back home and back to normal. I need to do laundry and get ready for the week. Our mini vacation was a much needed one. It made me realize that I need to spend more one on one days with Joe. It's so easy to get wrapped up in "life" go to work, come home, clean house, do laundry, make supper, baths, and before you know it bed. Tomorrow the cycle starts again. We hardly get to just be together and enjoy each other without thinking of all I "should" be doing. I am going make sure one day a week we have a special day........not worrying about chores, the yard, etc. Just throw it all aside for tomorrow and spend our moments together enjoying each other. You don't take with you in your heart how clean your bathroom was on 4/9/11, but I will take with me Joe's first time swimming and our weekend with Dad on 4/9/11.
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