~ Sometimes you don't need words to describe moments because you can already see what's being said ~
Here are some of my favorite pictures for that very reason.
Picture taken by the lovely Janel Johnson at Janel Johnson Photography
Monday, March 28, 2011
No Explanation Needed
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Best Big Brother Ever
Not much is going on this weekend, but I am loving it. Sometimes it feels good just to sit at home, wash clothes, clean house, and bake.
We had Blake for the weekend and I've noticed how incredibly helpful he is now days. He is so sweet and considerate for being 3 yrs old........4 yrs old in May. No matter what I'm doing he wants to help, even if it's something that I think sucks......like doing the dishes! Today I wanted to clean the kitchen floor, so he swept and I mopped!
Most importantly I've noticed what a wonderful big brother he is to Joe. Whenever Joe is fussing he goes right to him and visits with him, gives him tickles, or puts his bink in his mouth. Joe adores him! He loves to watch Blake sing and dance around, he loves the visiting, and even the tickles. I've noticed when Blake isn't really paying attention to Joe, Joe sits there and smiles at him with so much love in his eyes. Watching them is the greatest thing ever!
I give Blake the best big brother ever award :)
We had Blake for the weekend and I've noticed how incredibly helpful he is now days. He is so sweet and considerate for being 3 yrs old........4 yrs old in May. No matter what I'm doing he wants to help, even if it's something that I think sucks......like doing the dishes! Today I wanted to clean the kitchen floor, so he swept and I mopped!
Most importantly I've noticed what a wonderful big brother he is to Joe. Whenever Joe is fussing he goes right to him and visits with him, gives him tickles, or puts his bink in his mouth. Joe adores him! He loves to watch Blake sing and dance around, he loves the visiting, and even the tickles. I've noticed when Blake isn't really paying attention to Joe, Joe sits there and smiles at him with so much love in his eyes. Watching them is the greatest thing ever!
I give Blake the best big brother ever award :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Unexpected Recognition
This past Saturday afternoon I did what I always do a noon and went to the mailbox to get the mail. It seems a lot of amazing things have been happening through the mail lately! Inside the box I noticed a blue envelope. It immediately intrigued me, so I flipped it over to see who it was from....it was a name I did not recognize with a Wyoming address, so this excited me even more to open it.
I got in the house and opened the letter, inside of it was a card, I opened the card and a newspaper clipping came out.....The note written inside the card started out to "Jennifer and family," it was from a distance relative on my Mom's side who lives in Sundance, WY. She is a senior in high school there and she wanted to share with us her school project. This was a FCCLA project in honor of Miss Ella. They titled it "Ella's Last Wish". Haley ( the young lady who started this project) told me, "When Ella left to go be a little angel in heaven, I thought that maybe she would of liked to have had a personalized blanket to make her feel better and cuddle with." This is when Haley and her friends decided they were going to start a project with plans of making 30 blankets for the hospital she was at in Denver, CO. They were donated 80 lbs of fabric and able to make 40 blankets in a variety of sizes to send to the children's hospital!!! How wonderful and amazing is that! The newspaper article stated that about half the child patients will receive a blanket from the Sundance community. It also said they will be competing at the state FCCLA Convention at the end of the month with their project in memory of Princess. I can't wait to find out how they do!
I was blown away speechless and nearly in tears when I read this. Good tears of course. I was so thankful for the thoughtfulness of these students and Haley for thinking of little Ella and making such a wonderful project successful. What an honor I feel to be Ella's Mother! I am so thrilled that something was done in her memory as well, she deserves to be remembered so much. I have never been so proud in my entire life, Ella touched so many people's lives during her time here............ she made a DIFFERENCE in so many peoples lives! People she never even met. I believe she will continue to have an impact on many lives even to some that don't know of her yet. I know Ella has forever changed me in so many good ways, because of her I realized what is important and meaningful. I try not to take anything wonderful for granted. Nothing lasts forever, so love every minute of it.
I was reading a book today and this quote stood out to me:
"Sadness is a wall between two gardens" ---Kahlil Gibran
Such a small statement speaks so much truth. It makes me think of all the beauty you can live and feel if you learn to break free of that wall of hurt. It can hold back from what really matters.
Smile and think of Princess in her beautiful garden :)
I got in the house and opened the letter, inside of it was a card, I opened the card and a newspaper clipping came out.....The note written inside the card started out to "Jennifer and family," it was from a distance relative on my Mom's side who lives in Sundance, WY. She is a senior in high school there and she wanted to share with us her school project. This was a FCCLA project in honor of Miss Ella. They titled it "Ella's Last Wish". Haley ( the young lady who started this project) told me, "When Ella left to go be a little angel in heaven, I thought that maybe she would of liked to have had a personalized blanket to make her feel better and cuddle with." This is when Haley and her friends decided they were going to start a project with plans of making 30 blankets for the hospital she was at in Denver, CO. They were donated 80 lbs of fabric and able to make 40 blankets in a variety of sizes to send to the children's hospital!!! How wonderful and amazing is that! The newspaper article stated that about half the child patients will receive a blanket from the Sundance community. It also said they will be competing at the state FCCLA Convention at the end of the month with their project in memory of Princess. I can't wait to find out how they do!
I was blown away speechless and nearly in tears when I read this. Good tears of course. I was so thankful for the thoughtfulness of these students and Haley for thinking of little Ella and making such a wonderful project successful. What an honor I feel to be Ella's Mother! I am so thrilled that something was done in her memory as well, she deserves to be remembered so much. I have never been so proud in my entire life, Ella touched so many people's lives during her time here............ she made a DIFFERENCE in so many peoples lives! People she never even met. I believe she will continue to have an impact on many lives even to some that don't know of her yet. I know Ella has forever changed me in so many good ways, because of her I realized what is important and meaningful. I try not to take anything wonderful for granted. Nothing lasts forever, so love every minute of it.
I was reading a book today and this quote stood out to me:
"Sadness is a wall between two gardens" ---Kahlil Gibran
Such a small statement speaks so much truth. It makes me think of all the beauty you can live and feel if you learn to break free of that wall of hurt. It can hold back from what really matters.
Smile and think of Princess in her beautiful garden :)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Lots of Love
Today I am asking all my friends and family to keep a very special friend of mine in their thoughts and send tons of love and positive vibes her way.
I have a very close friend with twin boys who were born just like my little babes, too soon and too small. Although they are doing remarkable and are probably the cutest things you ever laid eyes on, a fear she's been waiting to confirm was confirmed today at a Dr.'s appointment. One of the little boys has CP (Cerebral Palsy). No one knows any details about it, how severe it is, or what's going to happen in the future. All they know is some things may be harder for him than others. He is doing tons and tons of wonderful amazing things and is a darling ball of love and chubs. I have total faith he is going to overcome a lot of his challenges and do many remarkable things, even if he has to work a little harder than the rest of us!
Ironically, her and I had our babies at 26 weeks gestation around the exact same time on different ends of the planet...... My babes 10/17 and hers on 11/1. We have been friends since the beginning of our journeys ( a very scary one at that) as we met on a micropreemie support group. We have experienced the same roller coaster rides of the NICU and all the fears and everyday task of being Momma's at home. She has listened to me laugh, cry, yell, and joke many many times. Not only do we discuss our children, challenges we've faced, and all our fears of the future, we also visit about everything else in between. She has been my best comfort and supporter at very very difficult times in my life, especially during Ella's final days. I don't know what I would of done without her listening to me and her kind words of wisdom.
We've always discussed how our little guys should be twins because they seem to develop at same pace and have the same troubles. I seek a lot of comfort and assurance from her with Joe's challenges and I try to do the same in return. I am not glad our little men have issues, but I am glad I have someone to relate too and hash it out with.
Going to Dr.'s appointments is one of the hardest things for us, because we know when something isn't right and usually have an idea about what it is. When you hear it come out of your Dr.'s mouth it's so totally earth shattering. I think it hurts so bad because you know they are right and that they aren't sugar coating the truth to make us feel better. It feels like you and your child are being "sentenced for life" or something, but in any Dr.'s defense they just want to get to the bottom of everything so they can help you and your child the best ways possible. Then you have to swallow that hurt and move ahead one day at a time never knowing what the future holds and being strong for your baby. It's a very hard thing to deal with and sometimes it feels endless....... that more and more bad things are happening.
Please send tons of love and positive energy to her and the little guy as they have done for me so many times in the past when I felt scared of the unknown! Fortunately for him he has an incredible parents to start his journey with! No worries here from me, but sometimes life just gives us too much to swallow and we need a minute to feel sorry for ourselves dammit!
I have a very close friend with twin boys who were born just like my little babes, too soon and too small. Although they are doing remarkable and are probably the cutest things you ever laid eyes on, a fear she's been waiting to confirm was confirmed today at a Dr.'s appointment. One of the little boys has CP (Cerebral Palsy). No one knows any details about it, how severe it is, or what's going to happen in the future. All they know is some things may be harder for him than others. He is doing tons and tons of wonderful amazing things and is a darling ball of love and chubs. I have total faith he is going to overcome a lot of his challenges and do many remarkable things, even if he has to work a little harder than the rest of us!
Ironically, her and I had our babies at 26 weeks gestation around the exact same time on different ends of the planet...... My babes 10/17 and hers on 11/1. We have been friends since the beginning of our journeys ( a very scary one at that) as we met on a micropreemie support group. We have experienced the same roller coaster rides of the NICU and all the fears and everyday task of being Momma's at home. She has listened to me laugh, cry, yell, and joke many many times. Not only do we discuss our children, challenges we've faced, and all our fears of the future, we also visit about everything else in between. She has been my best comfort and supporter at very very difficult times in my life, especially during Ella's final days. I don't know what I would of done without her listening to me and her kind words of wisdom.
We've always discussed how our little guys should be twins because they seem to develop at same pace and have the same troubles. I seek a lot of comfort and assurance from her with Joe's challenges and I try to do the same in return. I am not glad our little men have issues, but I am glad I have someone to relate too and hash it out with.
Going to Dr.'s appointments is one of the hardest things for us, because we know when something isn't right and usually have an idea about what it is. When you hear it come out of your Dr.'s mouth it's so totally earth shattering. I think it hurts so bad because you know they are right and that they aren't sugar coating the truth to make us feel better. It feels like you and your child are being "sentenced for life" or something, but in any Dr.'s defense they just want to get to the bottom of everything so they can help you and your child the best ways possible. Then you have to swallow that hurt and move ahead one day at a time never knowing what the future holds and being strong for your baby. It's a very hard thing to deal with and sometimes it feels endless....... that more and more bad things are happening.
Please send tons of love and positive energy to her and the little guy as they have done for me so many times in the past when I felt scared of the unknown! Fortunately for him he has an incredible parents to start his journey with! No worries here from me, but sometimes life just gives us too much to swallow and we need a minute to feel sorry for ourselves dammit!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
~Cheese~
Bless This Mess
I've come to realize something about myself that I never anticipated happening. I am slightly on the messy side these days! For those of you that knew me before I was a mother, during my "single life in my own bachlorette pad" days I was an over the top neat freak. The only times I didn't mind a little disorganization was when I wasn't around for several days at a time except for sleep and outfit changes. This happened often, but when I was home for longer than an hour I could not sit still if something was out of place. It absolutely disturbed me on so many levels.
Lately I've seen a huge change in myself. Since we've moved into our new house we've got 2 dogs, more space to clean, and I have 3 boys to deal with. I simply cannot keep up with all this I was driving myself crazy trying too! The odd part about this is I simply walk by the mess not caring even a little bit especially if I am tired enough. Now that is disturbing to me on many more levels!
The other day Raymond cleaned our house while I was at work. When I was driving home I was giving myself a "pep" talk on how I was going to clean the house spotless tonight. To my astonishment when I arrived it was already cleaned! That's when it hit me..........if Raymond Brunson is scrubbing floors and doing dishes it has to be bad. For a split second I felt terrible, "what has happened to this great quality I use to have?" and I wondered, "how can this happen to me...........going from one extreme to the next like that without hardly noticing?" My neatness factor something I took so much pride in thrown out the window just like that! And now the slob love of my life is more with it than me......WHAT?
I've decided those days of extreme neatness are over at least for the time being and that's okay. I am a full time employee, mom, and whatever else I do extra (which there's a lot trust me). I have to cook and do a ton more laundry than before and those DOGS!!! No comment on them other than they are worse than my 16 month old son!!
I've decided I am not going to feel bad about it any longer. My kids are happy, clean, and healthy. Raymond is spoiled by me and Child Protection Services hasn't been to my house, so I must not be doing to terrible of a job. Besides, who doesn't want to watch Raymond scrub floors and wash dishes! I love it!
Lately I've seen a huge change in myself. Since we've moved into our new house we've got 2 dogs, more space to clean, and I have 3 boys to deal with. I simply cannot keep up with all this I was driving myself crazy trying too! The odd part about this is I simply walk by the mess not caring even a little bit especially if I am tired enough. Now that is disturbing to me on many more levels!
The other day Raymond cleaned our house while I was at work. When I was driving home I was giving myself a "pep" talk on how I was going to clean the house spotless tonight. To my astonishment when I arrived it was already cleaned! That's when it hit me..........if Raymond Brunson is scrubbing floors and doing dishes it has to be bad. For a split second I felt terrible, "what has happened to this great quality I use to have?" and I wondered, "how can this happen to me...........going from one extreme to the next like that without hardly noticing?" My neatness factor something I took so much pride in thrown out the window just like that! And now the slob love of my life is more with it than me......WHAT?
I've decided those days of extreme neatness are over at least for the time being and that's okay. I am a full time employee, mom, and whatever else I do extra (which there's a lot trust me). I have to cook and do a ton more laundry than before and those DOGS!!! No comment on them other than they are worse than my 16 month old son!!
I've decided I am not going to feel bad about it any longer. My kids are happy, clean, and healthy. Raymond is spoiled by me and Child Protection Services hasn't been to my house, so I must not be doing to terrible of a job. Besides, who doesn't want to watch Raymond scrub floors and wash dishes! I love it!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Pausing at Green Lights
The other day was a simple life lesson for me and decided I had to share it. It was a great lesson in kindness to others and I was also reminded of my babies constant presence - even when I forget and feel like they've been "lost" forever.
I was having a rough day. I was missing my babies.....wondering why this happened??!!??? I wanted to see them, hold them, smell them, and tell them how I love them so much. It felt so unfair that I couldn't. I was driving home for my lunch break during my melt down....sobbing and driving.... sobbing and driving (that is dangerous by the way). I was sitting in front of a light and it turned green, but I didn't go because I was so distracted thinking about my babies and sobbing over their loss. Then suddenly I heard the angry honking of a horn behind me!! It startled me and I realized the light was green and preceded driving. I was so angry! I wanted to stop my car, get out, and go to the driver behind me to tell him why I was so distracted and didn't immediately turn left at the green light! I arrived at home, pulled into the driveway, and stopped to get the mail before heading in the house. At this point I was angry and sad all at the same time. Inside the mailbox was a unexpected card from a very special person that we love dearly. I opened it up, it said she was thinking about us and she seen a shirt that said "princess" with a crown on it. It made her smile thinking of Miss Ella. It made me stop crying and smile too. I realized that Ella and Robert must of known I was going to have a bad moment, so they planned accordingly. They reminded me not to be sad that they are a constant presence, even if we can't see them they are still here and watching over the people that love them always.
Next time you are sitting behind someone at a light and the light turns green and they are not going........don't lay on the horn at them. We do not know what they are thinking about or what is happening to them at that very moment. It might be something so big that they don't notice the green light in front of them. If you miss the light do not worry it will turn green again. Just pause and wait a minute along with them. Your destination will still be there for you.
***Unless you are bleeding to death or having a medical emergency, honk that horn like mad!***
I was having a rough day. I was missing my babies.....wondering why this happened??!!??? I wanted to see them, hold them, smell them, and tell them how I love them so much. It felt so unfair that I couldn't. I was driving home for my lunch break during my melt down....sobbing and driving.... sobbing and driving (that is dangerous by the way). I was sitting in front of a light and it turned green, but I didn't go because I was so distracted thinking about my babies and sobbing over their loss. Then suddenly I heard the angry honking of a horn behind me!! It startled me and I realized the light was green and preceded driving. I was so angry! I wanted to stop my car, get out, and go to the driver behind me to tell him why I was so distracted and didn't immediately turn left at the green light! I arrived at home, pulled into the driveway, and stopped to get the mail before heading in the house. At this point I was angry and sad all at the same time. Inside the mailbox was a unexpected card from a very special person that we love dearly. I opened it up, it said she was thinking about us and she seen a shirt that said "princess" with a crown on it. It made her smile thinking of Miss Ella. It made me stop crying and smile too. I realized that Ella and Robert must of known I was going to have a bad moment, so they planned accordingly. They reminded me not to be sad that they are a constant presence, even if we can't see them they are still here and watching over the people that love them always.
Next time you are sitting behind someone at a light and the light turns green and they are not going........don't lay on the horn at them. We do not know what they are thinking about or what is happening to them at that very moment. It might be something so big that they don't notice the green light in front of them. If you miss the light do not worry it will turn green again. Just pause and wait a minute along with them. Your destination will still be there for you.
***Unless you are bleeding to death or having a medical emergency, honk that horn like mad!***
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Growing Up
Things haven't been too shabby at our house lately......Joe is doing new things all time, but mostly my baby is growing up so fast! I have just recently looked at him and he doesn't appear "babyish" to me anymore. If that makes any sense.
Every night at bedtime, we take a tubs, put lotion on, warm jammies, wrap in a blanky, and rock to sleep with Mom. Something I look forward too every night because it's my favorite. The past few nights we do our routine and when it gets to the "rocking" baby to sleep he wants nothing to do with that. He use to snuggle in and let me cuddle him to sleep, but now he tries to escape, roll around, jump out of my lap to go exploring......... It was bittersweet really, his rocking the baby to sleep days are over I guess. I started laying him in his crib and he prefers to visit his with his friends on his mobile until he falls asleep. ***sigh***
Joe's eating has really improved and we've discovered new foods he enjoys. He has learned to chew just about everything. Some of Joe's new favorites include pineapple, mandrain oranges, and of course sweet potato puffs. He is also picking his food up off his highchair tray and putting it into his mouth by himself. Something he could not do 3 weeks ago. He also has quite the sweet tooth!
Every night at bedtime, we take a tubs, put lotion on, warm jammies, wrap in a blanky, and rock to sleep with Mom. Something I look forward too every night because it's my favorite. The past few nights we do our routine and when it gets to the "rocking" baby to sleep he wants nothing to do with that. He use to snuggle in and let me cuddle him to sleep, but now he tries to escape, roll around, jump out of my lap to go exploring......... It was bittersweet really, his rocking the baby to sleep days are over I guess. I started laying him in his crib and he prefers to visit his with his friends on his mobile until he falls asleep. ***sigh***
Joe's eating has really improved and we've discovered new foods he enjoys. He has learned to chew just about everything. Some of Joe's new favorites include pineapple, mandrain oranges, and of course sweet potato puffs. He is also picking his food up off his highchair tray and putting it into his mouth by himself. Something he could not do 3 weeks ago. He also has quite the sweet tooth!
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